The Golden Drool

Days go by............

2011-11-20T18:02:00.000-08:00

We currently have Halloween, Thanksgiving & Christmas decor stuffed in every available nook and cranny in our home.
It's seriously effing with my brain!

Crunchy, earthy, mossy Fall, where have you gone?
In 30 days you shall be replaced with a season of reflection & solitude.
I could use a heaping helping of both.
My what a year this has been.
♥

Fall Meditations

2011-09-26T15:14:00.000-07:00

*This post brought to you by too much afternoon caffeine and the fact that my kids now play together!
Together!!
Oh heel clicking huzzah and doves flying, how I've been waiting for this day!! 2 hours of them scrambling on the floor with minimal oversight from momma.
Fist pump fist pump!*

Lately I've been feeling quite overwhelmed.
Can I get a hell yes? I know I'm not the only one!
I blame the changing seasons, it tends to make one reexamine things, whether I want to or not.
I feel like there are all these holes. I run around trying to cover up one, and another appears. Or I finally spend a good chunk of time on something, and before I know it other areas are crumbling. See what I'm saying?
The only thing I can think to do is whittle down the to-do list. (Not to be confused with the want to-do list.) I have to narrow down the field.

But.I.Just.Can't.Do.It.

All of these things on the list are important, nothing can be axed or deleted. So how do I get it all done? How do I balance wants with needs? How??
This isn't a new question. We're all juggling and juggling, trying to make it all work.
I had an answer come to me yesterday. I was driving home from running errands. Rowen was home with Ricky, and Maeve was my errands partner in crime, bopping her head and jamming away in the back seat to some random local KBOO song. Once a babe that was a LOUD hysterical mess in the car, she is now my road warrior. Our cruise director of late.
Anywhoo.......I've noticed, since moving to Portland, that driving around and admiring all the gorgeous scenery helps put together pieces for me. Questions are answered. I've heard of walking meditations, or labyrinths......but driving meditations? Really?!
The trees, water, bridges, mountains.......Portland has so much eye candy.
To say it's inspiring doesn't begin to describe it.
Several years ago I watched Sex and the City. Re-runs that is. (Don't rag on me about it. I like that show, what can I say.......)
There was a line about Carrie's love affair with NY. She would often go out on "date's," just her and the city.
Living in Portland, I totally get that. I feel like a huge dork for saying that, but it's true. Driving around, just being in Portland, I feel better. Like I spent an afternoon with an old friend that gets me. It calms me. Gives me advice.
Resets my soul when I need it most.
And don't get me started on the rest of Oregon! Waterfalls, mountains, BEACHES. It takes my Portland zen to a whole other Tibetan mountain top meditative level.
Am I rambling yet?
Coffee break!

:::sip:::

:::sip:::

:::sip:::

So what answer did Portland give me yesterday?
"Dear Erin: Stop worrying about juggling, balancing. No no, seriously this time. Hear me, Erin? STOP it! Go on, stop it!"

So I did.

For once in a very long time, I stopped my brain. I shut 'er down.
(Of course I paid attention to driving, no worries!)
I let the road offer me a meditation instead:
"going going going going"
The water of the river:
"cleansing cleansing cleansing cleaning"
The tree's offered one as well:
"reaching reaching reaching reaching"
........as well as:
"rooted rooted rooted rooted."

And thus, a new game plan for my Fall was born:

"Reaching reaching reaching reaching"
......beyond my comfort zone to what I want to be doing, not what I should be doing.
Those pesky should's cloud up our heart and intentions sometimes.

"Rooted rooted rooted rooted"
What a fine teacher tree's are. Always encouraging us to open wide, reach for more, with our feet firmly planted on the ground and routed to the Earth. I need to reconnect with my inner wisdom. With the Earth. Nothing is more freeing and healing. I feel pulled to many paths that have to do with innate wisdom. Will they become careers? Hobbies? Or simply, for me?

"Going going going going"
.......forward with my life. I need to let go of a lot. There are still so many painful shards of the last decade of my life stabbing me in my heart. I need to remove them, make peace with the experiences these years have offered me, for they have made me who I am today. (Stop rolling your eyes! Just listen.....)
I root myself in the present, and these roots are growing for my children. Myself. And of course, my other and better half, Ricky. He's kept me together, and kept me going. Now we all embark on a new, strong life, together.

"Cleansing cleansing cleansing cleaning"
........my body and my mind. I haven't done a true and proper cleanse since 2005. I have a lot of emotional baggage stored in my body (yes, emotions store in your spine, muscles, and organs. These can turn into very icky things if not dealt with!), as well as surgery, present illnesses and a host of other issues that my body needs to purge.
I strongly feel like things in my life aren't going to move forward until my body and mind are healthy. And as long as they're toxic things aren't going to progress!
I can feel new adventures waiting for me out there. They're about ready to knock down my damn door, so it's time to GET READY!

Another important meditation the trip offered me?
Upon returning home to my family, greeted at the door by my two favorite men.
I felt "Thankful thankful thankful thankful."
Stop worrying about these holes, these "things" I'm building that fall down sometimes. And be thankful for what I -do- have.
(No it's not Thanksgiving yet, but check this out.)
What I -do- get accomplished every day.
Sometimes I forget about all the good I'm doing. Things that aren't on some list.
I didn't make some fancy dinner. Much less on time. But I -did- spend an uninterrupted hour in the afternoon reading to Maeve and Rowen. Sandwiches for dinner it is.
Maybe you didn't get to spend the quality time you wanted to with the kids, but you did something for yourself. -You- got to decompress so that when you spend all day with the kids tomorrow you are fully present and can give all of your heart, happily, without things weighing on your mind.
Did you work on a project? Alone, or maybe with your partner?
Or did you work on a project with the children? Teaching and learning from each other?
Maybe you helped a neighbor. Or friend.
Maybe you canned a slew of tomatoes you worked so hard on preparing for harvest.
Or spend some time thumbing through a book or flipping through a magazine instead of scratching something off your list.
You put on band aids.
Picked up/dropped off.
Boiled, mashed, chopped.
Dressed.
Bathed.
Wrote.
Called.
Consoled.
Walked.
Taught.
Listened.

Make sure you remember all the things you do that aren't on some list, but are equally important!
Maybe you're a little more together then you realized?

Pretty In Pink

2011-08-25T17:19:00.000-07:00

Maeve was given a dress from her Grammie T. this Spring.
It's pretty and pink, and most importantly full of TULLE.
Tulle is my textile drug of choice.
It ended up not being needed for its intended purpose, so I've let her wear it all over the house instead.

"Wook at me mommy! I'm a pwetty pwincess!"

It was the outfit of choice 4 days in a row. (The only thing that saved day 5 was our -finally- 90+ temps!)

It's been napped in several times.

I told her to show me how a ballerina poses:

She looks so stressed and sad! Well,......kind of like every dancer I've ever known. Maybe they're all so sad because they can't eat anything.

*And by dancer I mean, you know, dancer.....not the "you know what" kind of dancer.

And then.........
"Okay, show me a HAPPY ballerina!"

That was much better.

Until it turned into this:

What can I say. She gets all her class from me.

At night I'd throw the dress in all its fluffy tulle filled glory over her door for the next day.

One night, I had a flash: prom night, 2025.
Lots of cackles coming from her room.
Make up.
Corsages.
Limos?
Oh my, I'm not ready for that in the slightest!

But the next day, I had another image enter my mind. She had her arms up, patiently waiting for me to drop the dress down over her head.
As I struggled with gathering the tulle to find the opening for her head, I briefly saw her as a grown woman, on her wedding day.

I think my heart skipped a beat. ♥

I tied the back into a beautiful bow, kissed the top of her head, and sent my "pwetty pwincess" on her way before I turned into a blubbering mess.
In the flash forward, I was reminded just how fast time will fly.
And I was also reminded what a beautiful gift my daughter is.
A beautiful gift that I have no doubt is going to change the world.
.......one saved moth at a time.

The grass is always greener. (Especially in the PNW.)

2011-07-20T10:05:00.000-07:00

I hate to even complain about our weather here in the PNW.
But it's been mighty unseasonably cool and wet. (I know, I know......most of you like to think that's how it is here year round. But believe it or not, most Summer months we get little to no rain, and grass is brown and dried up by August.)
A typical Summer day would be 80 - 85, little to no humidity and sunshine. It's HEAVEN, and why we weather, well.....the weather......the rest of the year. The Spring/Summer/Fall is simply divine!
This year that hasn't been the case, and Portland folks are restless. Meanwhile, while we're squishin in our boots, the rest of the country is roasting in a heat wave affecting 30+ states.

Let's do a little weather comparing:
Here's the weather where my dad and step mom live, in Dallas, TX.

Well spin my spurs, that's hot, y'all!
And this has been their weather forecast for not just weeks but over a month now. Can you imagine suffering through that??

How about my darlin's in Kansas City?

Not nearly as hot as Dallas, but definitely a Summertime scorcher.

Ready for Portland's 10 day?

Brrrrrrrr, right? I actually had to turn on the HEAT this morning, and I'm wearing socks, pants and a hoodie as I type. Not only is it chilly, but we've met our monthly average July precip. before the 15th.
These crazy weather swings are about to send folks nationwide to Mother Nature's house with pitch forks and torches. But maybe we should try a more peaceful approach?
Let's take her some flowers, some Moon Struck chocolates, draw her a bubble bath.....followed up by a nice long hot stone massage and foot rub.
And then she could go have her hair and nails done, a drink with the girls, some uninterrupted conversation, shopping for some new shoes and supplies for upcoming crafting projects, maybe a trip out to a winery and......
......oh wait......we're talking about Mother Nature here, not me.
Heh.
Guess that's ultimately what every Mother wants!
A break!

So....let's give Mother Nature a break. She can't please everyone all of the time. She's doing the best she can, what, with the way we're utterly trashing, polluting, and robbing her blind.
My advice to you is go somewhere comfortable, (be it warm or cool, depending on your current locale), feast on some of this Steak Salad, indulge in some Nectarine, Mascarpone and Gingersnap Tart and sip some Basil Lemonade.
This weather will be behind us before you can say jack o' lantern and pumpkin pie.

Speed Cleaning

2011-07-09T17:13:00.000-07:00

timeworn wood floors + Skechers skates from ye ol' college days = new speed cleaning solution!

Maeve loves to chase me around while I sweep.....
Rowen giggles at the cleaning parade.....
and I'm a happy momma because I feel 20 again.
Plus I'm checking a chore off my list!

It's called Bounce

2011-07-06T20:15:00.000-07:00

Are we really supposed to believe she treks aaaaaaall the way out into that field to hang her laundry??
That seriously better be the neighbor's house.
Maybe it's her insane exercise plan.
(Girl could use a biscuit or 5. Looks like she's the one about to blow away in the breeze. Just sayin'.)
"Bob, you install that laundry pole as far from the house as you can. 10,000 steps a day isn't enough, I want 100,000!!"

Burglar Alarm?

2011-05-24T11:17:00.000-07:00

He's alone in the fight.
An army of one.

The hardest working lady in this house

2011-05-20T13:40:00.000-07:00

No doubt.

Rule #1023823 in parenthood

2011-05-03T16:29:00.000-07:00

Why.
Why oh why oh why don't I know any better by now?

If you don't want something destroyed by your child, you put it away.

This rule has been demonstrated numerous times to me thus far. Jewelery, clothing, shoes, blinds, food, doors, toys, the cat, my cell phone....her destruction knows no bounds.
I was working on a post about my "top 10 tips for managing to keep your shit together while you have a newborn."
Most advice you find online is only bunny fluff. Why won't anyone say how hard it is? Yeah they're cute. But damn babies are a lot of work.
Anywhoo, I've only been able to work on it here and there......like while something is boiling on the stove, the washer fills up, both kids are down for a nap at the same time (hahahahahaha........that's like once in a blue moon. But it does happen.) We're talking 3 mniute chunks.
I was almost done. A little spell check, some quick additions......and then Maeve runs over in full force and pounced my laptop.
Our arms became swords and the battle was fierce.
I was almost ready to claim victory when my hand brushed the laptop just right and my whole post deleted. I couldn't get back to the keyboard fast enough, and 2 seconds later it autosaved.
A whoooole weeks worth of brain goo, down the crapper. I couldn't get mad at her. The look on her face was so sad. And then she threw in:
"I'm sooooree I'm such a bwad gu-erl momma."

She had already punished herself.

And you know what, maybe it wasn't complete and ready to be posted after all.
......I forgot #11 - when you have more than 1 kiddo, all newborn rules go right out the window.

Do you think she's intimidated?

2011-04-29T19:58:00.000-07:00

*Technically "she" could be a "he" since boy ladybugs are called ladybugs, too, don't cha' know.

This makes my heart SO happy!

2011-04-23T14:13:00.000-07:00

This captures exactly what home birth is about.
I'm just so teary and speechless.
......go watch friends.
Born At Home
*And grab some kleenex first!

Rowen's Birth Story - Part 3: He's Here!

2011-04-13T16:05:00.000-07:00

I could feel him physically turning, twisting - the most beautiful orchestration nature has ever written.
Tarra arrived about 10ish. My circle of women was complete!
All 3 of them worked together like a well oiled machine. Well enough that I don't even remember much conversation between them.
They were so respectful of my space, both physical and mental, and let me do what felt right.
(Which for this birth was my aforementioned primal hooping, hollering and poop fest. Lucky them!)
They knew that my body was fully capable of birthing this baby. They knew that I would make whatever sounds and position my body in whatever shape it needed to help this little one emerge.
We all trusted the birth experience.

Ricky was dividing his time between Maeve and I, making sure we both were taken care of.
Maeve had been so good all morning, but it was around this time I remember hearing her pitching a fit and running around all crazy. She had recently become obsessed with watching video's on our phones since she could use the touch screen to select what she wanted to watch. So Ricky swiftly shooed her into the other bedroom and pulled up "Johnny Bravo" on his phone. Worked like a charm!

My pushing started to evolve.
I'd compare it to climbing a ladder.
Rung by rung I was making this birth happen.
My way.

At this point I was laying on my left side, with my leg slightly raised. (A birthing position I never considered!)
He felt so close, like he could come out at any second, yet.....he was still in there.
They suggested maybe I try moving to all fours, or to roll onto my other side.
My original plan was to birth on all fours, but in the moment I didn't want to move. I knew I -should- move, but didn't want to. Sometimes you can suggest things to a laboring woman, but she needs to re-suggest it on her own to get her to move forward with the idea.

And I started getting grouchy again.

As I tried more and more to focus on what my body was doing every single detail in the room seemed to annoy me.
Even the sunlight coming in pissed me off.

Damn you sun for being all bright and cheery.
Trying to focus here!

I can't explain it, I was SO centered, yet SO annoyed at the same time.
"It hurts, it hurts!!" I whined.
Even as the words left my mouth I knew that it seemed wrong to say them. It wasn't how I really felt, but my brain didn't know how else to process it. As soon as they came out I tensed up even more.
Poor Whitney was trying to keep an eye on the baby's heart tones and I kept brushing her away.
I even remember feeling bad about it in the moment, but I didn't want to be touched or talked to or anything else.
I just wanted.him.out.

For what seemed like the millionth time I mentally slapped myself around and told myself to get it together.
I felt that inner calm return, but for good this time. So with the great effort of several of us I rolled over to my right side.
Whitney went and got Ricky, since everyone knew he was very close to arriving. It seemed like every push would be the one.
By now it had been an hour since I first felt the urge to push, (although the majority of that hour was me moaning, groaning and holding him in. Silly me.)
They kept reiterating that my water could break any second and that would give me some relief. Ricky said at some point they were holding up chux pads in anticipation of being splashed. (Which makes me chuckle now, wish I got a picture of that!)
He was firmly pressing on my tailbone and I asked Whitney to apply pressure to my lower back. At the time I remember thinking "I wish she could reach in and massage my spine! GAH!!!!!!!"
Little did I know I just had a few more pushes to go!!
I grabbed poor Whitney's right upper arm and squeezed that poor woman with all I had.

And he started to crown.

They said they could see hair!
Hair!
He was really coming out!
Did I want to feel the bag of water?
Or him crowning?
Heck no!
Also during my birth of Maeve, I had no desire to do so. I sincerely wish I had the strength that some women have to support their own perineum, or watch their child be born with the help of a mirror.
But I couldn't think about anything except breathing and pushing.
He did a final turn and we were all systems go for baby launch.
His landing gear was down.
Runway was clear.
I did several very short but powerful pushes, all while Kori put firm pressure on my perineum to prevent tearing.
That ring of fire hit me.
He felt HUGE.
Much bigger than Maeve.
I was getting excited and impatient. I knew if I strained too hard I'd tear, so I did a few more little pushes and then BOOYAH, 2 giant pushes.
That 2nd push did it.
The fruit of my labor had arrived!

Rowen Henry McMurtrey
8lbs. 13 oz. 22 inches long
Born at 10:57am on January 4th, 2011

I looked up as he came out, just in time to watch Kori tear the bag of waters off his head and shoulders.
He had been born en caul!
I hadn't heard of that in my entire life and researched it a lot post partum.You can read about it here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caul
And here's an interesting birth video of an en caul waterbirth: http://www.homebirth.net.au/2010/09/homebirth-video-born-in-the-caul.html
Honestly, I think it's so rare to see this in birth because if your water hasn't broken by the pushing stage they tend to "offer" to break it for you.
(Or in my case with Maeve do it without asking!)
So you rarely see I baby make it all the way out en caul.

There was no need for dramatic suctioning or slapping of the behind.
It was all so calm and gentle.
The perfect way to enter the world.
I reached down and pulled him up to my chest. Whitney covered us with a couple of receiving blankets and in just moments he was sputtering and coughing up that amniotic fluid all on his own.
He was very slimey, wiggling around like he was swimming
.....and I turned him so I could look into his eyes.
What was the first thing I actually said to him?
"Welcome, little one?"
"You're here, hurray!?"
Nope.
I said a quick hi, and then:
"THANK YOU FOR COMING OUT OF MOMMA!"

Ricky quickly went and got Maeve, her little brother was finally there, safe and sound!
Hurray!

Whitney climbed up on the bed and listened to Rowen's heart.

They monitored me as well, all while I laid and fell in love with my new little one.
He went straight to the boob, almost immediately after he came out.

Typical man - haha
He latched right away.
Maybe it was my 2 years of breastfeeding experience?
Or was he just an old pro?
Either way I was quite thankful he was getting his liquid gold as soon as possible.
He wasn't staying as toasty on me as they would've liked, so they got out a heating pad. They layered it with the blankets and his body temperature quickly rose.
(In a hospital we would've been separated, and to a warming bin he would've gone. Yet another reason I'm thankful for my home birth.)
And then, it became ever so obvious he is my son.
He started pooping.
He pooped and pooped.
And pooped some more.
Noticing a birth theme here?
Let's just say that bedroom was a disaster area of poo by this point.
I can't even imagine how many plastic gloves or chux pads they went through.
See now why I'm glad I wasn't in the bath tub or birth pool?

At some point, not right away but not an incredibly long time later, I pushed the placenta out. It was a lot bigger than Maeve's. I was half wondering if it was another baby.
I was so thankful not to have it ripped out of me with no warning, like during Maeve's birth. That was so physically and mentally horrific.
Had I learned of Lotus Birth before that moment, I would've considered it. But I hadn't, so we cut the the cord.
It had long since stopped pulsating, and all of that good placental blood was circulating around little Rowen.
Did you know that "In full-term infants, placental transfusion increases the blood volume of the newborn baby by 40 - 60 percent?"
Also, "Contained within this blood is also a rich store of stem cells which later develop into new blood and immune cells. An average placental transfusion contains 30 to 35 milligrams of additional iron, which is equivalent to the iron contained in 100 litres (26 gallons) of breast milk"
VERY important to keep that placenta attached as long as possible!

Ricky went and called my mom to start the telephone chain of announcements.
After a little bit more baby cuddling, and it was time to get in the shower and wash all of the birth goodies off.
After I gave birth to Maeve I didn't shower for 5 days.
5 days, people!!
The nurses in the hospital didn't even encourage or suggest it.

I felt incredibly shaky, nauseous.......all very normal and typical postpartum symptoms.
Kori said that the nausea was likely due to my intestines dropping back down.
Now there's a pretty picture!
I hobbled to the shower, pretty much bent in half. For whatever reason my ab's were much more sore after this birth. Pushing out that little Marshmallow was a lot of work!
I washed up as much as I could (since I was so shaky and very ready to be laying down again) put on my ultra comfy jammies and headed back to bed.
While I was showering my FABULOUS midwives had cleaned up all the birth muck and changed the bedding.
Between that and the shower combo I felt incredibly refreshed.
I was over the moon with happiness. That sounds so cheesy, but its true.

I just wanted to stare in his little eyes for the rest of my life.

Although my tearing was very minor, Kori suggested we stitch me up to speed my healing along, since I had a toddler to chase.
So while her and Whitney did that Tarra went over that laundry list of postpartum care for momma and baby.
We talked a little bit about the birth and how Kori thought maybe he had a nuchal arm.
I've read that women moan louder with a higher pitch when birthing with a nuchal arm involved, so who knows, maybe it was there and he retracted it right before he came out?
Or was the harder pushing due to size and/or the bag of waters taking up more room?
Even though they are birth pro's I apologized for all the poop. I know it's completely normal to poop during birth, but I felt like I needed to say thank you for wiping my booty, you know?

Whitney got me a snack. Some gatorade, cheese, crackers and dried apricots.
I didn't feel like eating anything too heavy like I did after Maeve, and these were perfect!
Then it was time for Rowen's exam!

(I have more pictures, but most are not internet appropriate, with his little boy bits showing.)
It was so nice for him to not be completely across the room from me during this part.
He checked out great of course, but was none too happy to be undressed. He was ready for more cuddling with momma!
We all chatted a bit more while they finished packing up their equipment, checked one last time to make sure the baby and I were still doing OK, and then it was time for them to leave.
I had such a positive "high" after this home birthing experience, I wasn't ready for it to be over.
There were hugs all around.
And I said thank you.
Thank you.
Such simple words in the English language.
But what do you say to three amazing women that helped you through one of the most important days of your life.
There just aren't words.
They are truly my angels on Earth.....

Left to right: Kori, Tarra, Whitney, 4 week check up

.......that helped my little Angel Rowen land safe and sound.

You hold such an old soul in those blinky eyes.
Your energy is so intense, you seemingly vibrate with inner light.
Thank you for coming back into my life, my little Rowie.
Old soul friends, reunited.

Rowen's Birth Story - Part 2 of 3

2011-04-06T15:55:00.000-07:00

*FYI - VERY detailed birth info to follow!
With my contractions being so close together and lasting so long, and their intensity building, I knew the show was on the road. Although I respect waterbirth, it's just not something I've ever wanted to do, so I realized I better get out of the tub ASAP.

(Which for a reason to be revealed later, was a very wise decision.)

It took about 3 contractions for me to get all the way up and out of the tub. I decided to send out one final update to my family. I grabbed my phone, and sent a quick text message with the details. I wrapped myself in a towel and waddled back to the bedroom.
A quick hello was said to Whitney before I had to refocus on contractions. They listened to the baby to make sure he was still doing OK.
And then it hit me.
MAJOR nausea.
I knew what that meant.
The 7 - 10 transition!
Woohoo!
I asked Whitney to get me a trash can, and she also offered me some nux vomica. I put the little pellets under my tongue and let them slowly dissolve. (That stuff worked like a charm! If I ever get stomach flu I'm going to go pick some up.)
Once the nausea left me, the pelvic pressure started ramping up again. I asked for my rice bag to be reheated. With Maeve I only had pressure in the front, but with Rowen it was in the front and the back. It felt like my tailbone was about to split in half!
And here, friends, is where the birth story gets very real.
I'm not ashamed in the least to admit it.........

I started POOPING.

Not just a little bit here or there.
I was a freaking play dough machine of poop.
(It happened when I pushed with Maeve, but only a little bit a few times. I was aware of the nurse wiping it away quickly, and of course I didn't care one bit. Still, it never entered my mind that it might happen to this degree!)
I pooped and pooped.
And then I pooped some more.
If you look at a diagram of how compressed the colon is during labor, it's really no wonder. If there's anything in there, it's coming out!
At this point my water still hadn't broken. Kori thought it might be any minute, and I was READY for it to break. I felt like I needed to pee and thought that might help take some pressure off, but I couldn't pee.
I could poop!
But I sure couldn't pee??!
(I realized later that it probably was the combination of the bag of waters and my baby's head pressing on my urethra holding it back.)

All of the sudden the intensity of the contractions went to a level that I've never felt before. I'll admit it, I started panicking. Why weren't my visualizations helping me? Why wasn't I in that trance zen like state that I was during Maeve's transition? I tried SO hard to calm myself down.
I let out the most primal of roars and groans. I grabbed on to the top of the bed to try and ground myself.
Kori reminded me to relax.
Soften my bottom.
That my baby was moving down.
All the while I'm pooping pooping pooping.

......and just then, I heard a train.
It seemed incredibly loud, like it was in the room with me.
My grandfather worked as a railroad yardmaster. Sadly, he died when I was 6. I hear stories to this day of how fond he was of me. How if he was still alive, I'd be spoiled rotten. I have such great memories of him even though I was so young at the time. And I feel his presence often.
My Uncle was killed by a train when he was a teenager. A very tragic story. It hurt my Grandmother to the core. My grandfather loved the railyard. And something he love took my Uncle away. That had to be hard on him.
So those trains bring up such a mix of love and sadness in my heart. I feel the love for them that my grandpa had. I feel the sadness for my Uncle, and for my Grandmother. But for both of those reasons, I also feel strength. I can't imagine how hard it was for my Grandpa to work around trains after that, but he did. I can't imagine what it's like to lose a child. But they carried on, a day at a time.
After hearing the sound, I felt so much love and light in the room. At the moment I needed it most, he remind me that I am strong, and there were souls all around me both Earthside and not, rooting me on and giving me strength.
It was at that moment I realized something.
I was actually holding in the baby!
I had been tense, pretty much losing my shit (haha) over the sensation in my body, and panicking.
So what did I do?
I reached down inside me, way way way down where I'd never been before, and let go.
It was a swift free fall, through all the fear thats built up in my entire life.
........and it felt like I pulled this fear and tension off of me like some big energetic itchy wool sweater.

And then, I felt this inner calm that I haven't felt before.
I still felt the pressure in my pelvis, but I wasn't scared.
I knew what to do........
I was ready to push!
So that's what my body has been trying to tell me......
I told Kori and Whitney "I THINK I NEED TO PUSH!"
(With Maeve and my epidural I sadly never felt the urge to push. It was just a command barked at me.)
I've never seen people move that fast in my entire life.
Being my 2nd birth, they knew it could be 1 or 2 pushes and he'd be here, so they had to get ready with the quickness!

What followed was so incredibly amazing.
I felt like I was glowing with this raw maternal power.
I finally fully relaxed and Rowen moved down the rest of the way, getting his little body tucked into position.
And I wasn't nervous.
I was EXCITED.
My body was ready.
Rowen was ready.
......and finally, I was ready.

Rowen's Birth Story - Part 1 of 3

2011-04-03T21:14:00.000-07:00

I've been putting off writing Rowen's birth story.
And Maeve's, too.
Why?
Because there's not a word in the dictionary that can describe what it's like to give birth.

You feel every emotion to the extreme.
You feel physical pain and pleasure simultaneously.
(Yes, for me it wasn't "just an uncomfortable sensation." It was painful. But people equate pain with bad. It wasn't bad per se. Hell, a small PERSON came out of me! It wasn't roses, but it wasn't the screaming bloody murder sweaty drama they show on TV.)
You go to your own personal edge and push yourself through (haha) the hardest and best thing you'll ever do in your whole life.

I've been through a lot in the last 5 years.
You may or may not know all the details.
But know this.
Rowen's birth?
It healed a part of me that I didn't even know was broken.

My original plan was to write: (and in this order)
- Pregnancy with Maeve and her birth (and the horrible experience that lead me to home birth)
- Pregnancy with Rowen, the switch to different midwives, the decision to birth in a birth center, and then ultimately the decision to follow my heart to home birth
- Homebirth in general/stats/supplies needed and how to prepare
- Rowen's Birth

I realize now that sometimes you have to start at the end of the journey to find the beginning.
My new beginning.

BIRTH DAY
In the month of December, my midwife team of Kori, Tarra & Whitney had 5 little babies to deliver. Rowen was a little gentleman and decided to let them ALL go first, including one baby due in January. We weren't sure if he would be a Christmas baby, a New Years baby, or born in 2010 at all!
Even though my due date had come and gone, I was mentally and physically strong and healthy. The baby was also doing very well, so that was a relief. He would engage his little head and push down on my cervix. Then he would pull his noggin out and go curl up higher in my tummy.
He repeated this little exercise over and over and over........
As a result I had some pretty intense waves off and on. I knew that ultimately both my body and baby were trying to sync up, so I fueled them both with jar after jar of Nutella, Gatorade, nice warm baths & showers, and cat naps.

Then, the day came that would forever change how I felt about birth, life, and what I'm capable of.
Much like my labor with Maeve, I had a "false start" the Thursday prior. 16 hours of very strong, close together waves of contractions and then an abrupt hault. Midwives were called. Midwives packed it up and went home. I guess my body just likes to be well trained?
5 days later, just like most nights, it was 3am, and I was up and out of bed, waddling to the potty.
And then there it was......my body decided to "clear things out." "Hmmmm" I thought, "I just don't know.......this is a lot like the morning of our "fake start" on the 30th. Same pain. Same pooping.......I'm going back to bed." But when I wiped, there it was. Bloody show.
(This was so similar to my labor with Maeve, when I woke up at 3am, pooped, and had my whole plug fall out.)
My contractions were about every 10 minutes at this point, and the pressure of him moving down and spreading my bones felt very real.
Even though the baby stars were aligning, I was still in a bit of denial and decided not to wake up the whole house just in case it was another false alarm. I was wide awake by this point, and feeling some strong waves of contractions, so I decided to go float around in the tub to make myself feel better. To be honest, I was quite enjoying the time alone. I didn't call anyone. Didn't start the whole baby parade.
I needed those moments to gather my thoughts.
My strength.
My power.
On the outside I was the picture of pregnant serenity. I elegantly laid in the warm water on my side, with my legs tucked in as far as my belly would let me. I rested my cheek on the refreshingly cold side of the tub.
Breathing in.
Breathing out.
No light coming into the room except a soft glow through the window above me. Focusing on the tub tile's in my sight line.

The inside? Well, the inside of me was much different.

HOLY MOTHER EFFING SHIT, I am in LABOR.
AGAIN.
HOW did this happen?
I have to do this again?
No, no wait. I can do this.
I've done this before.
What do I do again?
Visualizations! Yes. That's right.
And breathing.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Focus on the tile.
OK. Wait.
EW!
LOOK at my tile. It is SO gross.
If I had even an ounce of energy right now I'd be scrubbing you, you dirty little bastard tile.
Wait, wait.......calm.
UGH, this contraction hurts like a bitch.
No wait, I'm a flower. A pretty little flower opening up.
Why oh why won't my body just open up and spit him out already!?
I know what I need. I need my music. But R's asleep.
Damn him for being asleep while I'm alone in here with these contractions!

Oh yes, this is all underneath the "picture of serenity."
And it was all thought in about 5 seconds.

I decided that laboring alone was silly, no matter what time it was, so around 3:30am I decided to wake up R. He rubbed my back and helped me time them so I could fully focus on what my body was doing. They continued about every 8 - 10 minutes and didn't seem to be changing much.
I felt my body lagging with hunger and fatigue, so I ate a HUGE peanut butter sandwich and chugged 2 glasses of water. I knew from going through labor before that you really do need every little molecule of strength, both mentally and physically to get through my journey.
So I put myself back to bed around 4:30am.
I still had that annoying negative devil on my shoulder going "this is EXACTLY like last Thursday. Your probably not even in labor, it'll stop just like last time!"
I ignored it and worked on a labor visualization I had been practicing.
I had the most peaceful, deep hour long nap of my entire life. When I awoke, my eyelids literally sprung open, like someone had shaken me awake. I think maybe Rowen did from the inside! "Psst, mom, it's time! Wake up!"
-bounce- -bounce- -bounce- on the bladder.
I felt like he had moved even further down into my pelvis, to that point where he felt like he was literally going to fall out. I made loop to the bathroom and woke up R again at 5:30am. He's not an easy person to wake up, and takes a good hour to become fully awake, but this time he was RIGHT THERE with me. It's like his body knew and gave him a couple shots of adrenaline to speed him along. Thank goodness!
We timed waves at 6 - 7 minutes. The pressure built and built and they became stronger and stronger, quickly changing to 5 minutes apart. We debated calling Kori......just in case this wasn't another false alarm.
Let me tell you......I am SO glad we called when we did, or none of the midwives would've made it in time,
I know R was very glad, too!
This was around 7:30am. We chatted about what I had been experiencing and I let her listen to me blow and moan through a contraction.
She decided to come and check me.
I asked Ricky to inact our THIS IS IT labor plan. He turned on one of the many playlists I created for birth, my Mellow one. Each song in my playlists was linked with a specific memory that I could think about and focus on while my body was adjusting. So I laid on my side with one warm rice bag in the front and one on my back, drifting back years and years, swimming in memories. Some were good. Some were sad. But all those moments led me down the path I needed to go. To that moment in time where I was getting ready to bring another life into this world.
I told R he better make some coffee in case I got nauseous and smell sensitive, and to eat something while he could. I continued to sip on water, breathe, and listen to my music.
Maeve woke up around 8am, so R went on with our typical breakfast/getting dressed routine so she would feel comfortable. We had already practiced for months and months what noises mommy would make in labor. We "moo'd" like cows and made "ooooo oooo" "aaaaaahhhh aaaah" monkey sounds. She was reassured that mommy would be making a lot of funny noises to help the baby come out, and that "the ladies" (as she called them) would be coming over to help. We practiced our usual labor positions together and she seemed as excited as we were when she found out her brother might be coming today!
Kori arrived around 8:45am and I don't think R could open the door and get her in the house fast enough.
She checked me over. And listened to the baby.
And then.....she checked my progression.
I was at 5 - 6 and 80 % effaced - official active labor. Hurray!
She took some notes. Called Whitney to grab my file and head over, and for Tarra to head over as well. She brought in her labor bags and unloaded a few supplies. Meanwhile I was laboring on the bed, watching her buzz about, and listening to R and M in the kitchen playing.
It was all so calm.
So surreal.
There were no scary machines.
No wires or beeping sounds.
No one poking or prodding me.
No signing of paperwork.
No ordering me around.
I got to savor each moment.
It was all so normal and comfortable, like I had birthed a thousand times before.
Around 9:00am I decided to head to my bath tub again, so see if I could get my body to relax even further, and progress my dilation. As soon as I got in the tub my whole body and soul seemed to sigh with relief. The water seemed to seep into every pore and soak up the pain. I could feel my pelvic area get loose and stretch. Even the little one seemed to stretch out and relax more.
By this time my contractions were every 2 minutes apart and back to back. There was no resting between them. The pressure was building and I couldn't quite stay focused.
But just then, at 9:15am, I heard Whitney come in the front door and I instantly relaxed even further.
My circle of trusted women was growing.
Time was drawing near to meet my little one.
Little did I know I'd start pushing half an hour later.
It was almost time.
Almost time.

Wordless Wednesday - Stewie the world's longest cat.

2011-02-09T17:31:00.000-08:00

*He holds the Guinness book title for world's longest cat.
......as seen at the Portland Cat Show.
Oh the things we attend for our children........

Wordless Wednesday - Best Friends

2011-01-26T13:40:00.000-08:00

Like sands through the hourglass.......

2011-01-16T20:15:00.000-08:00

You see that?

That's my calendar in the kitchen.

I neurotically change the date every night before bed.

Or on really bad days, I'll change it again in the morning.

Makes me feel like that day is OVER, you know?

And the rest of the day is some pause in between.

No. I haven't been drinking.

Anywhoooo......

When Rowen was born I forgot all about the calendar.

Changing the date was replaced with changing diapers.

Plus my clothes.

Gracious this kid spits up a lot!

Something Maeve never ever did.

And now......

......now it's stuck on that amazing date.

The one I thought would -never- come.

The day Rowen was born into this world.

At home.

Now.........neurotic me doesn't have the heart to touch it.

Because it moves me forward from that day.

One of the most amazing days of my life.

Fulfilling a seemingly impossible dream of mine.

With everyone safe and sound.

.........and I may just leave it that way for a long long time.

Because I don't want to wake up.

What day is it again?

2011-01-13T20:32:00.000-08:00

What a busy 10 days it has been!
I honestly can't remember what has happened these last few days
..........other than falling head over heels with my little Rowie.
And tending to my lady bits.
Oh, friends.....what a recovery this has been.
It's very fortunate he is SUCH a GOOD baby!

I've been typing up the birth story.
In chunks.
As it comes to me.
Not a thing to be rushed.
And blog posts?
They'll return shortly.
For now........
Here's a quick peek at little Rowie:

That looks kind of creepy I suppose......giant floating hand and all.
I forget how wobbly their little head's are!

I've been locked into the bed or the couch recovering, so the variety of pictures, well, sucks.
Here's to changing that over the weekend!
And now......it's back to resting for momma.
Anyone seen my doughnut pillow?

I AM Super Woman!

2011-01-05T10:41:00.000-08:00

Rowen Henry McMurtrey
Born at home au natural on Tuesday, January 4th
8 lbs, 13 oz, 22 inches long
At 10:57am (5 hours, 27 minutes start to finish)
.....and the birth went better than I could've dreamed.
My midwives......nothing short of angels on Earth.

She insists on holding him every second she can.
What a proud big sister!

......and a very relieved momma and papa that he is -finally- here safe and sound!

Christmas Belly - POW

2010-12-22T21:08:00.000-08:00

We have another version more dulled down.....

.....but what says Christmas better than tweaking the colors to make the walls 80's lipstick red?

Fantabulous, I say.

But really, you can ignore the tag and come on out whenever you want little guy.

Power Balls Recipe

2010-12-22T13:08:00.000-08:00

In part of my powering up for labor, I decided to make "Power Balls."
I had them for the first time at a dinner at our local co-op.

Now there's a major regional difference for you.
In the Mid-West we would've had pie or the like for dessert.
In the Pacific Northwest it's healthy power balls!

They are SO delicious.
Kind of like a no bake cookie.......
They're sweetened with honey.
Packed full of protein.
Have tons of good for you vitamins from the flaxseed like:

Omega-3 essential fatty acids
Lignans, which have both plant estrogen and antioxidant qualities. Flaxseed contains 75- 800 times more lignans than other plant foods (You'd have to eat 30 cups of broccoli to equal 2 tablespoons of the ground flax!)
Fiber. Flaxseed contains both the soluble and insoluble types.

I've made several tupperware containers of them.
They help keep me in my 80 grams of protein range.
Plus, they'll be a delicious and easy snack for my whole birth team!

Sorry for the crappy picture.
The lighting in my kitchen is horrible, and I still have yet to figure out to properly shoot with the new camera.

Power Balls Recipe:
1 C. Honey
1 C. Nut Butter of choice (I used plain ol' peanut butter since we have tons)
1/2 C. Ground Flax Seed
3 C. Oatmeal
Handful of chocolate chips. SO good, but next time I'm going to get the mini one's.
- Mix all ingrediants
- Hand roll into whatever size balls you like!
- I like to stack mine in a tupperware (with lots of room for the lid so they don't smush) and then store them in the fridge. They aren't as gooey that way, and taste better too.

Optional stir in idea's: (You can mix and match or delete the choco chips, it's up to you.)
- Toasted Coconut *I'm trying this one tomorrow
- Raisins/Crasins
- Other dried fruit
- Flavored Oatmeal
- Chunky peanut butter instead of smooth
.........you get the drift.

For Maeve I pull a large one apart and roll it into 4 small balls.
My little meat hater doesn't get enough protein, so these are a god send!
Flax Seed is handy to have around and can be used in many other recipes.
It has a kind of nutty taste, so it hides well in baked goods, or sprinkled on hot cereals.
Dang good stuff.
I prefer Bob's Red Mill Ground Flaxseed Meal.
It's locally made, too!
FYI: Pricier online than in the store.
And a bag lasts me forever.

Time to do more powering up for my birth marathon!
Roar!

39 Weeks Belly Pics

2010-12-21T13:43:00.000-08:00

Well well well.
Here we are at week 39.
Most women would be chomping at the bit by now.
But not me.
I know how hard labor and newborn life are, and I for one am enjoying this quiet time.
And I think my uterus must be a fabulous hostess!
Because things have slooooowed down internally.
He's quiter.
The contractions I had every hour for weeks have pretty much stopped.
Calm before the storm, folks.

I've been steadily feathering the nest.
Cupboards are stocked.
Birth supply bins have been moved from being stuck in the corner in Maeve's room to the living room........
For easier access.
Maeve's room is closest to the bathroom (aka where I'll be spending the majority of labor......since it has the bath tub.)
But, I realized today that she might be asleep.
And I still don't know what room/where I'm going to actually have him.
As long as it's not the laundry room.
The cat box is in there.
And that's just gross.
Plus, if the bins are out there in plain sight and ready it'll trigger something??
Bah, who knows!
Bottle of celebratory bubbly is snuggled on the top shelf in the fridge.
Staying on top of the laundry and cleaning is really my only priority.......
Since we will have such a full house for the birth!
.......And spending quality time with my little Maevie.
Life moves so fast, I can't believe we were at this same spot 2 1/2 years ago
I swear I don't remember.....
Who I was......
Or what my life was like.....
Without her.

The one thing I could really do without is the constant prodding of:
- "Don't you have a name YET?"
(We do, we're just not sharing, Deal with it.)
- "You are HUGE!"
(Well no shit. I'm almost 40 weeks pregnant.)
- "When's that baby coming?"
(Um......do you really think I know this? Let me ask him to check his blackberry.)
- "Are you SURE you want to have a home birth?"
(Of gee, now that you say it......maybe I should completely change to an OB and second guess myself. Thanks for the support.)

You.
don't.
mess.
with.
a.
very.
pregnant.
woman.

:::::Happy Place:::::
:::::Happy Place:::::

OK, on to the pictures!

Here's Maeve's 38 Week tummy picture:
(I didn't take anything past week 38.....I labored on and off for 2 weeks........needless to say pictures weren't high on the list.)

And for fun I put the same sweater on this morning.
Here's baby #2's 39 week shot:

Decidedly bigger.
Definitely lower.
BUT, also a week more along.
By this point every week makes you bigger and bigger and bigger........to that "about to pop" stage.

I wish I had more to add.
I haven't felt too "dear diary" with this pregnancy.
Maybe because I've experienced it all before.....
So it's not quite so "OMG my pants don't fit, look how cute these baby clothes are, he moved, I have to pee every 5 minutes," blah blah blah......

But......
I'm so tired I can hardly see straight.
Time to go rest while I can.......
"Rest" being a pretty relative term......
With a still sick and snot filled 2 yr old that has a raging double ear infection running round torturing everyone and everything.
HA!
Life of a momma.
Wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

38 Weeks Belly Shot

2010-12-15T09:36:00.000-08:00

Woah
baby.
This kid is packing on the pounds BIG time!
Are you ready for this belly shot?
..................

Shabam!

After reviewing all my tummy pictures with pregnancy #1 and #2, it's quite obvious I don't get the big ol' tummy until the last month.

It's really funny when you're out and public and people ask when you're due, and when they find out it's less than 2 weeks they give you a look that is shooing you home.

What am supposed to be doing, knitting baby booties by the fire?

No no no, this nesty momma is going out and getting some shit done!

*Side note: If you know me, you'll know I believe the little orb in the picture is the wee one, and not just "dust."

Which means he's hanging around.

And birth is close.

After last night's round of back to front contractions (a kind I never had with Maeve BTW) I believe he IS close.

Just let me run to the store this afternoon wee one, and then the day is yours!

Outtakes

2010-12-11T14:27:00.000-08:00

Sometimes in life
you don't remember
......all those
mundane details
of your day.
But
I will remember
These
moments
When
it was just
the 2 of us
.......moving so fast
they blurred.

37 Weeks Belly Pics

2010-12-07T13:42:00.000-08:00

We're t-minus 18 days and counting, people.
It's a good thing, because my pregnant lady wilda beast hormones are out of control!
Trust me, anyone that has come in contact with me in the last week will attest to the insanity.

But no, I don't feel like talking about it.
I'm feeling contractiony and mucho grouchy today.

I did manage to snap a 37 week belly pic for y'all.
But first.......let's do a little comparison.
Pregnancy w/ Maeve @ 37 Weeks:

Pregnancy w/ Baby (that still doesn't have a name.....eep!!) @37 Weeks:

This lil guy does have a more definite bump.
(They say you get bigger with baby #2, but after reviewing pictures, I don't totally agree with that theory.
People still didn't know I was pregnant until a matter of weeks ago! Der.)

Also.....how did I manage to take my belly bump pictures in front of 2 separate very bright yellow walls in 2 different houses.
Both colors I didn't paint myself.
But should have been avoided all the same.

Anywhoooo........
That's it for today.
Bump is still there.
Contractions come and go.
4 more fantabulous birth books under my belt.
Bassinet obtained.
Ridiculous amounts of Nutella still being consumed.
Nesting is out of control.
Like on an OCD level.

Will this kiddo be a Sagittarius or a Capricorn?
Born on the full moon/solstice like his daddy?
Only time will tell, friends.

Broken and Beautiful

2010-12-01T15:31:00.000-08:00

I found this fantastic image online today:

It's true........the wee one's have been my two most involved and craftiest endeavors to date!

I noticed the link to her site at the bottom of the sticker: ibreakplates.com

and discovered even more goodness.

Like this image (that can be printed on a variety of goods, much like the above):

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'd call this lil baby pie DONE!

I don't remember Maeve being this crammed in there @ 36 weeks.

Grumble grumble......

Let's just think about pie instead.

Like this "Crack Pie."

Mmmmm............

OK, I'm back in my happy place now.

Anywhoo.....I also discovered that Juliet makes some incredible things out of broken plates.

No really, they're gorgeous!

AND it's all very reasonably priced.

How fun to be able to go to work everyday, break things, and turn them into works of art!

I hope I can find my creative nitche someday, too.....

....le sigh......

Here are a few of her creations!

Brooch:

(and magnetic to boot!)

Pendant:

Ring:

Belt Buckle:

Cuff Bracelet:

Wine Stopper:

Earrings:

Cuff Links:

And my absolute FAV things she makes, Thimble Necklaces!!!

See, there's something for everyone!

Go visit her Etsy shop right now, and clean up the rest of your holiday shopping list.

And you know.....feel free to pick up something for lil ol' me, too, hee hee.

36 Weeks Belly Shots

2010-11-29T10:33:00.000-08:00

So I'm a bit behind on sharing.....well.....anything and everything!
After a round of severe stomach flu for me (that almost landed me in the ER)
.....and then a round for M (which DID land her in the ER) things have started calming down again.
I was truly hoping to get some good pictures of me while family was here for Thanksgiving, but alas the stomach flu took all the joy out of that.
Like for example the fact M puked all over the kitchen floor 30 minutes after my dad and step mom got here.
Nothing says welcome to Portland like a puking toddler, eh?
SO, I will try to take some pictures soon.
I wanted to do a family Christmas card, but for some reason it doesn't seem right without the little one here too.
He's already such a part of the family.
So we may be sending out a baby announcement/Christmas card this year.
Until then........
Here are the latest 36 weeks pics of my humps:

Did you see how dropped and head down he is?
Yeah, he's been like that since 34 weeks.
This guy is ready to go!
And from the front:

Ooops.
Cut the S off a bit.
But I'm waaay too tired to fix it.
Sorry!
Being pregnant with a toddler around AND being sick is ridiculously exhausting.
BUT, see that up there?
That's my waist!
It's still there......incredible.
I weighed myself the other day for the first time in a loooooong time (since the midwives don't make you do it, just whenever you want to. and boy I haven't wanted to!)
And I'm @ 25 lb weight gain.
Not sure how that's possible, since I've been eating ridiculous amounts of Nutella lately.
I think it's all going straight to the lil fella.
Oh little guy!
I'm so excited to meet you!!
I have aaaaall the birth supplies bought (well, except for one thing. I've been trying to avoid having to go to Wal-Mart, but it looks like I may have to cave.)
Yesterday I got everything bagged and in my big blue storage tubs.
It was so gratifying and nesty.
Since I'm over 35 1/2 weeks now, the midwives can attend the birth anytime.
Hear that dude?
You can come out!
I've started the top 10 ways to encourage labor.
The first 3 are awfully fun ; )

1st Love

2010-11-05T10:08:00.000-07:00

It's a pillow......

It's a pet.........

It's a ~~ridiculously overpriced and annoyingly marketed collectible toy~~ pillow pet!

...........and she is OBSESSED.
Let's hope Santa pulls through with more of them this year, because @ $20 a pop, two is all she gets from mom and dad!

You've been deinvited to the baby party.

2010-11-04T09:34:00.000-07:00

To the persons that keep coming to my blog by searching "baby bump p*rn"
...........EEW!
Seriously?
Can I not talk about breastfeeding on here either, without you guys getting all twitterpated??
(Or go to the grocery store for that matter. I got propositioned not too long ago from a scruffy dude to sell him my breastmilk. How he phrased it was less than gentlemanly!)

I don't want to have to set my blog to invitation only.

Weirdo's, you are deinvited.

Shoo now, shoo!

32 Weeks Belly Shot

2010-11-03T11:24:00.000-07:00

I decided to use the same shirt again so the bump growth looks more consistent.
Because really, in some shirts I look HUGE, and in others people -still- don't know I'm pregnant.
I do declare!
Here's little Thumper @ 32 Weeks:

And here is the last picture, @ 30 Weeks:

Can you see a difference??
Barely, right?
He's ever sooooooo slowly taking shape.

I didn't get really really really big with Maeve until around 36 weeks, when her weight started packing on.

I'm shocked with all the cookies I've had lately that I don't have a Grimace like appearance.

Seriously.

I even put 3 dozen of the cookies in the freezer so they wouldn't be as accessible, but I quickly learned that those kind of cookies don't freeze, and taste even better cold.

Huzzah!

5 Years

2010-11-01T21:23:00.000-07:00

A lot can happen in 5 years.
The last 5, for me, have been part soap opera, part horror novel, and some of the best days of my life squeezed in between.
Like the birth of this little one:

Sunday wasn't just Halloween around here.
It was also Rickster and I's 5 yr. anniversary!
I am SO proud that we have made it through these last few years.
And you know how we did it?
As a team.
When I needed him, he was there.
And when he needed me, I was there.
I can't imagine my life now, without him being there.
Here's a picture of us, taken a week or so after we first started dating, on my (very fancy at the time, BTW)
1 mega pixel phone:

(I didn't realize until tonight how few pictures we have of the two of us.
And our little family in general.
Something to add to the 2011 to do list for sure!)
And now, as we prepare to welcome another soul into this world, I hold so much peace and love in my heart.
A bright future for all of us.
So much newness.
So much excitement.
Our little clan.
Finding our way in the world.
Together.

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-31T17:45:00.000-07:00

Since Maeve is such a great garden helper, no costume is more fitting than this:

Your own kiddo as a garden gnome has to be the cutest thing in the world.
There's a good chance I may dress her up like this every day.
But before you head out to work, you have to check out your tools:

Make sure your pumpkins are ready for pie makin':

And then it's off to work!

Sprinkling her gnomy magic onto the Earth:

I thought making Halloween cookies would keep me out of the candy.
Well, it did.
But I ate waaay too many cookies today instead.
EEP!
And BURP!
Off to find my BFF, Mr. Tums.

PS: Many thanks to Pumpkinhaus for creating this adorable hat for my lil gal!

That maternal glow

2010-10-29T16:43:00.000-07:00

I'm such a hormonal mess lately.
And then I came across this beautiful work of art:

Oh my, happy tears!!

So touching.

It just captures that glow that I feel right now.

We let Maeve pick out 6 little pumpkins for our steps this year, so I don't have one big enough to recreate something like this.

Would you like to try it?

Go visit Rixa @ Stand and Deliver for her free PDF pattern!

"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason." ~Jack Handey

2010-10-28T10:46:00.000-07:00

After searching and searching, I finally found one with a pattern I liked.
I thought I'd be stuck with zoo animals or pastels.
But -whew- no.
Of all places, Wal-Mart pulled through for me.
And it arrived in the mail today!

What could this adorable pattern belong to?
Little Thumper's car seat!

Maeve was ever so excited to practice with her puppies.
Really though, I'm not sure who's more excited, her of me.
She talks about him non stop!
Little one, you are loved by so many already.
When you're ready, we can't wait to meet you!

PS: Could you please stop popping my left hip out of place?
It makes it really hard to chase your sister around.

25 Layers of Heaven!

2010-10-26T15:41:00.000-07:00

Oh Southern Living, how you taunt me!
Every month you introduce something I can't live without.
This month?
A 25 layer Chocolate Crêpe Cake.

Here's the description:
"C’est magnifique, Darlin! Our 25 layer crêpe cake combines delicate crêpes layered with a light filling of chocolate pastry crème and is finished with a beautiful chocolate ganache top.
Packaged in a white glossy tin and polka dot cellophane, the retro-inspired label amuses with witty sayings and ‘50s graphics."
The Charleston Crepe Company definitely has a good thing going on.
They'll even ship it to you!

Now, if I could only justify some money in our baby budget to order one of these bad boys..........
I mean......he IS the one making me crave it : )

30 Weeks Belly Shot

2010-10-18T16:54:00.000-07:00

My, what a difference 8 weeks makes for the belly!
Here's zee spawn @ 22 Weeks:

Spawn, today @ 30 weeks:

We're finally at the big 3 - 0, how exciting!
In 5 weeks our midwives will be able to legally attend the birth.
Most importantly, insurance will cover them attending the birth by then.
And you know what?
I'm so ready!
Not that I'm miserable physically.
Yet.
I know those last few weeks are toughies.
But I'm mentally pumped for this.
So so so pumped, that my positivity level is almost nauseating.
To me!
The only thing we still need to do is gather the home birth supplies, and buy a car seat.
Other than that, we're go for baby launch!
For some reason I've been superstitious about buying those 2 things.
I just want to wait until the big day gets closer.
Plus it'll give me some nesting chores.

Now, if only we could settle on a name.
We had one picked out, but last week it became repulsive to me.
Let's hope we can agree on one in the next 5 weeks, because who knows what I'd pick in my post birth delirium!

Cat Power!

2010-10-17T11:48:00.000-07:00

You know your sick kiddo is feeling better when........
She insists you draw "keety wehska's" on her.

And when she also insists on wearing them 24 hours a day, even while sleeping.

I'm just thankful she picked me for a momma, because I'm happy to indulge her.
It's also fortunate that we live in a city of very creative and accepting individuals, so she gets a lot of compliments instead of rude stares.

Here's to the healing power of cats and their glorious whiskers!
Now that my little kitten is finally on the mend, after countless sleepless nights and a fever for days and days, this backyard momma can finally hit the farm store for chicken coop winter overhaul supplies, local coffee and some nag champa.
Some lovin to the store dogs.
And warm our hands by their wood stove.
Seriously, how fabulous is that?
Tapestries, local goods, farm supplies.
The drive there is the best - across a beautiful old bridge, with gorgeous views of Mt. Hood, Mt. St Helen's, Mt. Bachelor, and the store is right on the river.
They also graciously answer my naive urban farming questions, with great big smiles.
They try to hold in the laughter, I know they do.
I don't blame them, some stuff I ask is kind of a slap to the forehead a few seconds later.
But I give them a good laugh.
And then they carry everything out to the car for me.
Love ya, Portland!

Down with the sickness!

2010-10-13T17:15:00.000-07:00

It's so sad to watch your sweet little one go from this, all lalala, eating her pumpkin pancakes and yogurt:

To a down and out sickie:

It's cold #2, in less than a month!
It should be universally illegal to have sick kiddo's when you're pregnant.
3 Weeks ago I came down with what she had, and it took me 2 full weeks to feel human again.
Trying to build a baby AND heal illness is very, very draining.
Thank goodness it's not swine flu, like last year.
Seriously, people.
I poo poo'd that crap until I got it.
Took 2 full months to get rid of it.
VERY glad I got M the vaccination, she only had it a week, and not nearly as bad as I did.

But I digress........

I know all this sickness is due to the fact she's hanging out with a ton of other germy kids now.
And she LIVES for all our co-op play days, classes, dinner nights, etc......
So there's not much I can do about it.
I wash my hands.
I dodge boogery fingers.
Take my vitamins.
Do tons of laundry and dishes.
Made chicken n' dumplings, mashed potatoes, and a peach cobbler.
It's my answer to chicken soup, and so far it workin' for me!
And today......splurged and had some caffeine.
Hey, it was either that or heroin.
We're going on night #6 of a sleepless kiddo here!

I also count my blessings.
She doesn't have a serious terminal illness.
So many little one's are taken at such a young age.
And I get to stay home with her and baby her like only a momma knows how.
I can't imagine the pressure of sending her to daycare if I had to work!
For both of those things, I send my thanks above.
Not all are so fortunate.

Now pleeeeeease universe.......I've kept my cool after all these sleepless nights, doesn't that deserve some extra immune system pumping?
This momma's body is busy building a little weiner in there!

I want, I want!!

2010-10-05T16:16:00.000-07:00

This local designer has some of -the- cutest things.

If you're lookin for a baby present for me, this is IT.

Although, I don't know if I can stand it much longer......

I may just cave and get it for him now.

And has he grows, some of the other adorable things.

Go look, go look!

Westmama Designs

PS: You didn't know we're having a home birth?

'Tis true!

It started out as a transfer from a hospital birth with my old midwives to a birth center with some new midwives, but now it's official.

He shall be born at home.

(All medical emergencies aside. But let's not let that negative juju in, K?)

With a team of 3 midwives.

Plus us, the Maevie Pants, and the cat.

All in less then 700 square feet.

BAH!

And I could share with y'all the 3 page list I have about why we decided on a home birth.

But I don't feel like I need to justify it; everyone has their own path in life.

And I for one am beyond excited about this one!!

27 Weeks Bump

2010-09-27T11:20:00.000-07:00

The bump is -this-close to passing up zee boobies.

Is that why so many people don't know I'm pregnant?

Seriously folks.

It's not all junk food packed in there.

See?

There's a baby!

I'm so happy I saved this shirt from my pregnancy with Maeve.

Seems like just yesterday...........

And now she's my sweet little lady.

I can't wait to meet this other new little bestie of mine!

13 Weeks (or hopefully less!) and counting!

Busy Busy Bee's

2010-09-23T19:31:00.000-07:00

After a much needed break, The Drool is BACK!
And in the midst of a nasty chest cold.
BLARGH!
A little Fishin in the dark is cheering me up right now though.
A nice distraction from my horrid chest cold.
And how I've turned into a prego baby and miss KC horribly lately.
I'm sure I'll be over it soon.
But I do miss that sweet prairie breeze.......haha
Posting shall resume shortly, please stand by.

22 Weeks Bump

2010-08-20T09:52:00.000-07:00

Taste of Summer

2010-08-14T18:05:00.000-07:00

Saturday Market.
97 degrees.
Definitely requires some lemonade:

(Can you tell she was so hot and tired by that point?)

Some pepperjack quesadilla to refuel:

And fresh melon to top it all off:

(That's my girl, sitting like a lady.
Ha!)

It's been nice to have this short burst of real Summer weather.
Now.....off to frolic in the sprinklers!
(Yes, we frolic in these parts.)

Houston, we have a penis.

2010-08-09T14:32:00.000-07:00

It's official.
We have a perfectly healthy little boy!
I have to say, I wasn't rooting for either team, but I'm very excited to have a little boy around now!
I haven't the patience to scan in the pictures, so they are a bit fuzzy.
Doesn't he just look like a boy?

He has a little monkey face in this one, and is sucking on the umbilical cord.
He already knows where to put food.
Mmmmmm......how's that ham sandwich and granola bar, little guy?

The unnerving classic alien shot:

A footie shot.
The better to stomp my bladder with.

Finally, after his indian style sit fest and lots of walking around the room from momma, all was revealed:

I can officially say I grew a penis, heehee.

We've had a boy name picked out since I was pregnant with Maeve, but we aren't sharing it with too many people.
For now, his nickname is "Thumper," since he just sits and kind of rabbits kicks me alot.
That's about all the movement I get out of him.
He is ONE mellow little kiddo!
Let's hope that continues, because I've heard some real horror stories about how much of a handful little boys can be.

I am so over the moon.
A boy and a girl.
What I've always wanted!

I have a head!

2010-08-03T14:28:00.000-07:00

Today, Maeve and I attempted pictures together.
Did. Not. Go. Well.
It could be because Maeve has been sleeping for 6 hours and not napping lately.
Makes us both very sad and grouchy, to say the least.
She was less than willing to participate today.
We tried the timer route, but she kept running and snatching the camera.
So we had to do the hold-it-out-in-front-of-you method.
Here's the gist of our session:

Yep.
They were that good.
So I gave up and tried to take some of her:

She looks so obviously over the whole thing.
So I handed her the camera:

Woah, woah, woah.
Hellooooo unflattering!
Thanks, kiddo.
Let momma try:

Better, but I swear.....that damn bra strap just had to ruin it.
I'm -this- close to just starting my own lingerie company for big hooter ladies.
Really.
I'm tired of paying $80 for ugly, poor fitting crap!

Finally, I thought of something to make her smile......
A picture of her on the horse Grammie brought her:

That horse is amazing.
It's animatronic!
It moves it's head, eyes, tail.....
.....you can feed it, it neighs.
Pretty fancy.
(And much cheaper than the real thing!)

I guess Progressive is right.....
....I tried to sign up for Renter's Insurance the other day, but they won't write me a policy.
We have "livestock."
They seriously consider 3 silly little chickens livestock!
What are they doing to do, revolt and peck the house down??
Well I guess with the addition of the horse we do officially have a farm.
You win Progressive.

19 Weeks Bump

2010-08-02T13:50:00.000-07:00

Some days it looks big, some days small.
Today was one of those days where with my sweater on you really couldn't tell I'm pregnant.
I still just look like I never lost baby weight #1 or the like.

Almost to the halfway marker - woohoo!
I might take some pictures with my head.
Maybe.
It's hard to position the camera with the self timer to include my head, and I don't like those "hold out the camera" shots.
On the weekends time just seems to fly and I don't think about it.
So we'll see.

Off to eat some fresh blueberries!
Nom nom nom.

It's a.......

2010-08-02T09:27:00.000-07:00

........baby!
Oh wait, we knew that already.

Well, one week from today is my ultrasound to find out exactly what sort of baby is camping out in there.
I'm almost inclined not to find out.
Seriously.
But I truly think my family would walk the 1,800 miles with torches in hand in revolt.

I'm not really pulling for either team.
I just want a happy and healthy little one.
I know that's clichéd, but it's the truth.
And honestly, I don't have a gut feeling as to what it is.
At. All.
Any guesses?

Let's hope this little one cooperates, or else there will be a heck of a lot of yellow and green around here.
Blech!

Can't wait to see you, little one!

Not Just Another Bed Time Story

2010-07-31T15:34:00.000-07:00

Recently Maeve was given a book.
It looks innocent enough:

....but
The brother and sister have an ~~interesting~~ insanely creepy relationship.

And the ending, well.......

Come on.

Creepy, right?

Yeah, OK, maybe that's some weird European nursery rhyme at the end.

But the way it's written.....I dunno.

Let's just say this book went to the Goodwill pile.

Maybe there's some creepy little kid out there that will enjoy it.

But not my kid.

Arrrr........got me a crabbie cake I did!

2010-07-27T22:20:00.000-07:00

Sore.
Tired.
Sand in my britches.
One happy and worn out bebe!
I love you Oregon coast!
I'm sorry we haven't been out to visit you more......
....I don't know what I was thinking.
We only live 1 1/2 hours from you.
I promise to come consume more of your crab cakes and taffy VERY soon.
So stock up.

More pics to come later, when I can see straight again.

Day glow.

2010-07-22T14:14:00.000-07:00

Pre-pregnancy, any amount of sunlight would make me burn.
A car ride.
Checking out the window for the mail.
I'm not kidding........I could just think of the sun and it would burn me!
Pregnancy #2, I am IMMUNE to the sun.
I've spent hours and hours in the yard, with no burn.
Not even a tan line!
Do I have some kind of pregnancy super power that makes me immune to the sun?
Although what I'd do with that particular superpower I'm not sure.
"She's able to mow multiple lawns in a single day with no burn, folks!"
"She's been out watering everyone's lawns in this 100 degree heat........Without her I'd have lost my begonia's for sure!"

Can't the be some kind of happy medium here??
A nice rosy glow, perhaps?
I don't think anyone believes me that I -do- in fact spend whole days in the yard!

Early Birds

2010-07-20T15:29:00.000-07:00

Maeve got this in the mail today:

It's about 48 years premature, guys.
What a waste pf paper and plastic.
Do they not even attempt to look up their demographic??

17 Week Bump

2010-07-19T14:38:00.000-07:00

The bump is growing, friends.
Hoooo boy is it growing!

I can still fit into my old shirts, but pants, they're toast.
I can't complain though.
After my nasty fall, I'm just glad the little one is alright!
I can still see my feet:

(Documented more for later then for now.)
My sense of gravity is severely altered.
(Which isn't why I fell, I hate to say it, but I blame a certain toddler for that one.)
I have apparently developed a serious hole in my lip:

And I'm growing an onion:

I'm not really sure what else to update on at this point.
I have a ton of symptoms, I won't bore you with those.
I'm always cranky and hungry.
Watermelon seems to do the trick lately.
Excited and nervous.
2 kids under the age of 3?? AHHH!
Exhausted from taking care of a toddler 24 hours a day while "trying to put my feet up and rest."
I swear, if one more person says that to me, they get automatic babysitting duty!

We have family coming to see us in a week.
Familiar faces, BBQ sauce, and they're bringing us a new car.
A car!
WHAT?
YES INDEED!
I'm so excited I might just pee!

PS: Baby quickly became dinner shortly after those pictures. Sorry kiddo!

Chime

2010-07-12T12:05:00.000-07:00

4 Years.
4 Months.
Yeah, I still count.
And I still horribly miss you, dear friend.
I'm not sure what song is more fitting today......
Jimmy Eat World - On A Sunday
or
Jimmy Eat World - 23

Beautiful Dreamer

2010-07-10T21:33:00.000-07:00

For the last 2 years, I've been practicing Attachment Parenting.
I won't go into my big long power talk about it.
I love it.
But, It doesn't work for everyone.
The co-sleeping aspect?
Well......
Maeve has started sleeping on her own.
It started when I weaned her from nursing to sleep about 2 months ago.
That's right, I nursed her a whole 2 years - go me!
Shortly after she got used to the idea of "no na-na's," (which wasn't hard at all, once she was ready) she started randomly falling asleep in places by herself.
By herself.
This is HUGE people!
Mostly its been while watching cartoons on Youtube:

Sometimes on the bed:

And even the couch:

As you can see, some of these naps were on the same day.
Two naps in one day?!
That's just plain unheard of around these parts!
Also, can you tell she likes her purple shirt? She always picks it out first.

By practicing Attachment Parenting, weaning from nursing and weaning her from co-sleeping with me have gone absolutely fabulous.
I'm glad I listened to my gut when it guided me to parent this way.
I'm thankful I have a pediatrician that no only supports it, but even parents that way himself.
I've been ever so grateful for the advice and non criticism from other mama's that also practice baby wearing, co-sleeping and extended breast feeding.
Yet another reason why I love the Pacific Northwest!
It's been quite the ride with my Maevie, and I have to say, I wouldn't have changed a thing.

We're Being Followed

2010-06-28T17:05:00.000-07:00

It's official.
We're being followed by the paparazzi.

That's right, a picture was taken of us from our bedroom without our consent!
Who could the culprit be?

Hmmmm........
Here's a clue.

That's a close up of Maeve's face.
Grandpa Al (papa) sent her a digital camera for her 2nd B Day!
She LOVES it.
I take pictures all the time, and of course she wants to be just like mama.
She loves to shoot her favorite subject:

Poor guy, I think he's half blind now from the flash.
She likes to shoot nature shots from inside:

We also end up with a lot of foot shots:

Some random around the house shots:

And occasionally has some artsy shots:

As you can tell, she still has a bit of a shaky hand, and it makes some of the pictures blurry.
Plus it's 1.3 megapixels, and that can make things fuzzy.
Batteries haven't been too bad thanks to the awesome automatic off switch.
They must have had some serious mom input about how forgetful toddlers can be!
It's also VERY sturdy.
She's dropped and thrown that thing dozens of times, and it doesn't have a scratch.
It can hold about 100 pictures, and I love love love downloading them at the end of the day to see what she's come up with.
I do find a lot of blank or too close up shots, but luckily she doesn't know yet that I'm the editor.
I also find some not so flattering shots, and yes, those go bye bye FAST.
Paparazzi with a photo delete option, that's my kind of famous!

Wordless Wednesday - 13 1/2 Weeks Baby Bump

2010-06-23T13:00:00.000-07:00

Lucky.

2010-06-22T16:14:00.000-07:00

I never thought
my heart would heal.
But instead of feeling pain first,
now my heart feels love.
I'm remembering
what it used to be like
to be happy.
It's very hard for me to let go
and feel that.
I have to really practice.
Hard to imagine,
right?

But
getting to look
at this sweet face
all day, every day.......

I feel light,
love,
and
like the luckiest

person in the world.

3 Month Bump

2010-06-12T22:29:00.000-07:00

Yes friends, that's the 3 month bump.
I was bumpless with Maeve until 5 months.
5 Months.
And it was a small bump.
I barely looked pregnant until I was 7 months.
This time?
A bump.
Oh it's there all right.
Who knew that barely eating and being sick sick sick could still produce a bump like that.
Everything I've frantically Googled and drilled family & friends on says that with baby #2 things are already stretched out so you show sooner.
Or maybe they all think that/reassure each other with that so we don't go into pregnant lady meltdown.
I do know that I started this pregnancy 50 lbs lighter than with Maeve.
50 lbs!
I'm still eating pretty well and not giving into unhealthy cravings too often.
That's one thing the toxic gallbladder showed me in the last pregnancy - how to eat healthy.
Oh yes little demon gallbladder....just because you're gone doesn't mean you've been forgotten.
I'm one of the few that has had eating issues since it's removal.
I couldn't eat unhealthy all the time even if I wanted to!
And you know what?
I don't miss that crap.
I always think I want it, but then I get it and it grosses me out, and I can't even eat it.

SO, after all this pregnant lady rambling.......
We have a bump.
All my dreams say it's a boy.
And my due date is December 27th.
Will it be a 2010 baby?
Or 2011?
Boy?
Girl?
Ladies and Gentlemen......place your bets!

Add four more!

2010-06-10T16:36:00.000-07:00

I was going to do one long update, but I thought one topic in particular deserves its own post.

My dad got remarried!

Here's he is with Bea, his lovely bride:

Don't they look so happy?!

For the first time in my life I have a step-mom, and 3 step-sisters.

There's Deanna, lives in Dallas:

Stacy, lives in Dallas, too:

And Kim, lives in Italy:

(Camera phone pic, not the best quality, sorry!)

I've only met Deanna.

I was hoping we could make it to the wedding so I could meet Stacy, but I'm still not feeling 100%, and I don't think I could handle hours and hours of puking on an airplane.

Kim couldn't make it either, so I didn't feel as bad.

They had a small wedding with just family, and tomorrow they leave to honeymoon in Italy.

They'll spend some time with Kim in Rome, and also venture to Sorrento, Alalfi and Capri.

10 days is the longest my dad's EVER been on vacation, and boy does he deserve it!!
I'm secretly hoping Kim will let me come visit her someday.

It never hurts to have family on a global scale!

R's step-brother lives in Sweden, another place I'd love to go to.

Who knows, maybe in a few years we'll take the kids on a trip around Europe.

I can't imagine seeing such amazing things without them, no matter how little they are!

To my Dad and Bea - you are so well matched, and I wish you both a lifetime of love, health and happiness!

PS: If you're wondering, things are still right on track with baby #2 (who really needs a nickname besides a bowl movement.)

I plan on doing my first belly pics this weekend.

We're either going coastal or berry picking, so there will be plenty of photo op's!

I expected more of you, Oregon.

2010-05-17T21:31:00.000-07:00

So I have the typical pregnant lady hormone outbursts now.
The one thing that has been bothering me the most is when you're pregnant, you're automatically married.
HELLO.
What a rude thing to assume!
Just because I'm knocked up doesn't mean God/Jesus/Buddha or my daddy with a shotgun made me want to get married.
I'm spiritual, but not religious.
I don't feel like I'm gestating a little sinner just because we're unwed.

Besides.....this is OREGON.
Second highest population of lesbians next to San Francisco.
What if I was a lesbian?
How offended would a lesbian be when the receptionist asks "but isn't your husband here with you today?"
Or when the grocery clerk says "oh you and your husband must be thrilled!"
Are you supposed to say "no, but my girlfriend is."
How rude to have to share personal info like that.

Yes, Ricky is my "boyfriend" or "partner."
Whatever you want to call it.
But we've survived longer then any married friend I know without a major crisis.
I'm not asking for one universe, just making a point.

To me marriage is religious and paperwork nonsense.
We'll still celebrate out anniversary every year.
I'll be just as committed.
My kids will be just as loved.
And if I want to wear a foofy dress......I'll have a lil party and wear one!
This isn't 1950, people.
Let's be a little more progressive.
But then.....the lawyers wouldn't be as rich, eh?

Soldiers of Spring

2010-05-11T15:41:00.000-07:00

So I haven't been spending much time with my hens lately.
Or doing laundry.
Or cooking.
Anything really.
Except losing 8 lbs in 2 weeks.
WOAH!
Really all I can do is lay down and pray for unconsciousness.
It's the only thing that makes me feel better!
It just so happens our weather decided to get real purdy right when I got ~~sick~~ pregnant.
(Oh yeah, there's a baby in there.)
So what's a girl to do?
I open the windows and huff the breeze.
Check the mail.
That's as close as I get to nature anymore.
Well wasn't I surprised when Spring decided to come pay me a visit!

It snuck in through the cracks, jogged across the wall and held on for dear life.

What a joyous surprise to look up and find.
Thank you my bushy, bushy friend for sending your soldiers of happiness in to capture my blues.

Familiar Territory

2010-05-07T11:46:00.000-07:00

Boy, what a week.
Just when I think I have a handle on how I'm feeling, everything changes!
One minute I'm craving guacamole, the next I'm so dizzy I can't stand up to hold the dang chip.
Then I get the bug to rearrange the living room, and in the middle of the chaos I decide it's probably a better idea to go eat some crackers and lay in the fetal position while M watches cartoons.
I've been spending some quality time with the bathroom floor, but thankfully not vomiting.
It seems I'm just barely walking the hyperemesis tightrope.

I'm praying with all I've got that doesn't happen again, because I just don't know how I'll take care of M and be so sick at the same time.
Although not gaining a single pound while you're pregnant is pretty freaking awesome.
Luckily she has been a pretty good girl and left me alone quite a bit.

Me: "Hey Maeve, you know how mommy said there's a baby in my tummy? Well the baby is making mommy sick right now, so I need you to be a good girl and watch cartoons for a little while, OK?"
Maeve: "Bad baby! OK mommy!" (And she runs off doing this arms flailing over the head thing )

I really feel like if I can just make it to the 3 month mark, I'll be MUCH better then last time.
No 10 months of it for me.
I refuse.
I have too much to miss out on this time.
Like M's birthday at the end of the month.
I really wanted to make her a cake this year, (instead of Safeway) but if I still feel this bad there's just no way.
The goopy eggs.
The oozing batter.
Plopping it into the pans.
Blargh!!!!
AND R's mom will be here then, too.
There's just not enough room in the kitchen for all of us!
I'm nervous about how we're going to entertain her in this shoebox.
Just going to the airport will be enough to tank me for the day.
And how to entertain someone when you feel like you have the worst stomach flu/hangover of your entire life?
Who knows, maybe I'll have several good days in a row by that time.
I'll be whippin up a cake and entertaining better then Martha.
It's mind over stomach, right?
Heh.
I wish.

Oh!
Here's our stop.
Time to get off the grumpy train.
Even though I'm sick, again, I'm not sorry this little one is in our life.
I feel like I have to clarify that, because the reaction I've gotten this time around has been odd.
I am SO happy Maeve is going to have a sibling.
She gets so bored around here and drives me nuts!
I'd much rather have them fighting then her being bored - haha
I can't wait to see them together on Christmas morning.
Birthdays.
Family vacations.
Maeve holding him/her.
Ooooo exciting!!
I'm really stoked to be pregnant again, too.
Well, once the rocky part clears up.
The maternity clothes.
The bump.
The cravings.
My mid-wives!!
I'm betting I won't even fit through the chicken coop door come month 9.
That'll be interesting.

We do have a lot of logistical things to figure out.
Like getting a 4 door car.
Which we've really needed anyway.
Should we move to a bigger place?
That's kind of a no duh, but has some complications.
Should we move back to the Mid-West?
My head says NO STUPID! My heart says YES STUPID!
Should I put Maeve in preschool, even with her sleeping issues, sensory processing disorder, Spirited Childness?
Not many people know about her issues.
It makes "typical parenting" not so typical around here.
So hey, let's throw another baby into the mix!
Why not?

Is it all hard to deal with?
Yes.
Understatement, friends.
But hey, life ain't easy.
We all have our own set of problems.
Is it all worth it?
You betcha!

4, my good luck number

2010-04-30T15:16:00.000-07:00

I know what you're thinking.
She's having another baby??
Wha the wha?
After the insane hyperemesis, baby colic that lasted a full year and gallbladder surgery?!

Yep.
Folks......here we go!

So far Mother Nature has brought me the lovely gifts of:
Having to pee every 2 hours
Night sweats
Extreme thirst
Nausea or queasiness all day long. (But no vomiting....yet.)
Man like gas
Bigger boobs. (Like I needed that!)
4 AM hunger
Tears at ridiculous things like the trash man tagging our can for being overweight, and that part in Homeward Bound where the animals help them find the lost little girl.
Cravings for jalapeños on EVERYTHING.
Like I contemplated putting some in the blueberry muffin mix.
Cravings for glasses of milk. It used to gross me out, but now I can't get enough.
This lovely little stomach bloat that I'm rockin.
.......and a whole long list of other things that you probably don't want to hear.
Really.
And all of those things happened before I had the brilliance to take a pregnancy test.
DUH, Erin!

I've already had a few parenting blunders.
I burned my stomach on a hot pan the other night.
Oops.....Sorry baby!
And all of my low rise pants seem to be strangling the poor thing.
Time to get momma some flowy summer dresses and yoga pants stat!
I've all but stopped cussing around Maeve, but I still think it.
Can the baby hear that??!!
And I have a name in mind, whether it's a boy or a girl.
But between you and me, I know it's a boy.
A boy and a girl, just like I've always wanted!!

Of course it figures that we moved into a teeny tiny house, and then I go and get knocked up.
But I feel far too much like roadkill to contemplate a move.
Plus we told our landlord we'd stay a year.
That would mean we'd have to move when the baby is 2 months old.
A 2 month old and a 2 1/2 year old.......having two weeks post my "6 week no strenuous activity" order to pack and no one to help us move.
I just can't fathom that.
But I also can't fathom how a newborn won't wake up Maeve in this tiny house.
Oh yeesh!
So much to think about.
And buy.
And relish in.
I can't wait to feel those first little squirms in my tummy.
And when it makes me eat cake.
Naughty baby!
This time I hope I get to hold him right away without the chaos of Maeve's birth.
And feel his heart beating next to mine.
AND did you know Maeve is already helping me out with the baby?
She brings me my rice bag when I forget it somewhere.
She also understands that I don't feel good and harasses me approx. 30% less.
Woohoo!
Maeve is going to be the best big sister!

Another little one that picked me.
Well, us really.
It changes the whole family.
It makes every other little "problem" in life just melt away.
No matter how big my badonkadonk gets.
Or how hard those 1 AM feedings are.
This is life.
My life.
And I feel so blessed to be a mother!
Not everyone is so fortunate.

Now - off to make more chocolate milk!

Bump Watch Has Begun

2010-04-27T14:51:00.000-07:00

It's official.
The nausea is making it more real.
As is the fact I'm sitting here eating jalapeno's straight from the jar, and drinking chocolate milk.
-ahem-

I can't wait to meet this new little soul that picked me!

Prunes, anyone?

2010-04-09T21:02:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't lived up to my frequent posting promises.
But I have excuses.
Really!
But my digital camera died.
My laptop has been sick and neglected for quite some time.
And my cell phone is 4 years old.
Can you say digitally constipated?

Well, I'm working on all 3, and in the meantime I came to a SCREW IT revelation and started up a 2nd blog.
Nothing like eating more cheese when you're constipated, right?
It's in the very very very primitive stage, and quite frankly I'm a little embarassed for you all to see it.
But I know we're girlfriends.
And if you stopped by and saw me, in my yoga pants/headband/cup o joe in hand/dark circles......
I know you'd love me just as much then, too.

So expect Backyard Momma to undergo some major facelifts in the coming weeks.
Along with the Drool.

Let's just call it a Spring renewal for ALL!
Heck, I even painted my toes today.
Huzzah!

Now, go check out my new baby:
Back Yard Momma

Wordless Wednesday - Best Friends

2010-04-07T09:33:00.000-07:00

Wordless Wednesday - Elf Toes The Flower Arranger. It's Serious Business.

2010-03-31T11:13:00.000-07:00

"And Spring arose on the garden fair, Like the Spirit of Love felt everywhere"

2010-03-24T19:06:00.000-07:00

Living in the Pacific Northwest, well, it gets a bad rap.
Everyone thinks it rains aaaalll day long, every day.
Guess what........
It doesn't!
In fact, we've had one of the driest, warmest, prettiest winters on record.
Our Spring came 6 weeks early (take THAT Mr. Groundhog!)
And snow?
Well.........here's our snow:

The only white thing on our ground here?
Hundreds of petals from our Magnolia tree.
Boy she's gorgeous.
Here's a full body shot of her:

That gorgeousness has been going on for a whole month now.
Sorry Mid-West peeps.
Today it was 70, and it was so hot and sunny I thankfully wore a tank top and skirt, and I had to turn all the ceiling fans on while I cooked dinner.
Tomorrow we're back to some showers, off and on for a few days, but the extended forcast ain't too shabby!

That's OK though, thanks to my awesome mom and her housewarming presents, Spring is eternally inside!
We've got an awesome array of bird hooks:

A fantabulous bird calendar:

And some darling nest pictures:

You could say we're a little bird brained around here.

Very fitting in SO many ways - HA!

“A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand”

2010-03-21T19:55:00.000-07:00

Today it was dreary.
Rainy.
55.
I couldn't clean the coop like I wanted, or clean up the front yard.
I had a list of a million other things I ~~should~~ could be doing.
Instead I decided to press a pot of coffee, and really connect with my daughter.

We made some of the BEST roll out sugar cookies I've ever had.
Did I have barely enough powdered sugar and only one jar of sprinkles?
Yup.
Martha Stewart wouldn't have been impressed.
No fancy pants here.
Luckily my kiddo is only 1.
Just the bag of flour got her all twitterpated!
Maeve was so patient and really helped with each step.

She helped measure and add ingredients like a seasoned pro!
Her little fingerprints in the dough made me misty.
And the look of pride on her face as she nibbled her cookie(s) was priceless.

The cookies turned out neon yellow.
(That's what happens when you use really fresh eggs from hens that get nutritious feed!)
I still don't know how I feel about everything I bake being neon yellow, but the taste difference is amazingly delicious!
Even with a whole plate of cookies at her disposal, she only nibbled on 4 of them.
Shocking!

The first of many baking parties I'd bet.
Soon enough she'll be making me cookies on her own.
One less thing for momma to do!

And now, after 5 hours in the kitchen, which included the cookie baking extravganza, clean up, dinner prep, and clean up again......
This momma is off to take a bubble bath with a glass of vino.
Oh, and maybe another cookie.
Shhhh......don't tell.

Heeeee haw!

2010-03-18T11:15:00.000-07:00

Where have I been for months and months?
In the process of moving to this lovely little urban farm:

As you can tell, Maeve is a VERY good little farmer.
I plan on starting another blog very very soon.
I promise to update both on an (atleast) semi-regular basis.

Buck Buck BOK!

Dear Diary: You Look Marvelous!

2009-11-16T23:02:00.000-08:00

I worked on a blog post (finally, right?!) for 2 hours tonight.
It was pages and pages of babble, and by the time I got to the end of it, I didn't even remember what I was writing about in the first place.
So I hit delete.
I just couldn't seem to articulate what it was I wanted to say.
I feel like this has become way too "Dear Diary" lately.
Apologizes all around.

It all goes back to the jumbly thoughts.

Careful.....
My brain is this golden time bomb,
didn't ya know?

::::KABOOM::::

It all comes out like confetti.

Maybe it's just the fact that my body is toe' up.
Hopefully my doctor is on the way to fixing that for me.
Maybe it's sleep deprivation.
Maybe, just maybe, it's the fact that I need to really have a heart to heart with myself.

It's just that I've been through so much in, well, the last 10 years.
I feel like my next move in life needs to be big.
This ain't chess, people.

KABOOM!

::::Little boxes on the hillside, Little boxes made of ticky tacky::::Little boxes on the hillside, Little boxes all the same::::

2009-11-05T21:17:00.000-08:00

So, the time has come.
One thing is for sure....
....we've all done it.
But there's a step many of us neglect.
And it might be the most important one of all.

Moving.
It's hard.
Even if you want to move, it's still a lot of work.
Especially if kids are involved.

I've lived a lot of places.
19 residences in 27 years, to be exact.
Including 4 states.
Seen a lot of thaaaangs in my day.

People.
Relationships.
Motivating factors.
I have constant change and flux in my life, even though I have such a hard time adjusting.
My lesson this lifetime, perhaps?
As the fabulous Ben Harper says:
"Goodbye hasn't been so good to me."
I've said it too many damn times in my life.

Moving in.
Always so damn exciting.
But what about when you leave?
Doesn't the place where you spent the bulk of your time deserve something besides a good scrubbing and locked door?
Why don't we have mini funerals for these places?
Give them some respect for all they've done for us.

Think about that for a second.
A funeral for your house.
It just makes sense.

I've always done that in my own sort of way.
Right before we're ready to drive away I always ask for a precious moment alone.
I go from room to room and wistfully reminisce about what's happened in our old dwelling.
Coming home to rest our weary bones.
Laying down, mentally tearing apart our day.
Letting the emotions flow.
Holidays.
Dinner parties.
Cold's.
Flu's.
Power outages.
Parties that left scars.
Regrettable decisions.
Deaths.
Births.
Breakfast in bed.
Scrubbing that black crap off the floor with nail polish remover.
Exhausting all arranging possibilities and switching whole rooms of furniture.
Days getting ready for school.
Work.
Shopping sprees.
Spilled paint.
Water in my cereal.
Sickness that should have put me in the hospital - if I had insurance.
Nightmares.
Hiding places in the wall for very mischievous items.
Holidays.
Washing clothes in the bath tub.
Crafting.
Leaking ceilings with worms falling out all over the place.
1st dates.
Last dates.
Windows that stuck only in the summer.
Views of downtown.
The country.
Food poisoning that made my stomach bleed.
Empty parking lots.
Handing out freshly baked cookies to my neighbourhood bum friends.
Foam clubs.
Trendy neighbourhoods.
Painting projects for school that took 3 days.
Gay neighbourhoods.
Waving my rights.
Honky tonk neighbourhoods.
Drinking. Drinking. And more drinking.
Strict suburbs.
Sneaking out at all hours.
Hot tub parties.
Working 80 hours a week, even at home.
Woken up at 5 am, the boss, with some random idea.
I should.
I shouldn't.
Lord, if I made a list of everything that happened around my 19 dwellings, you wouldn't believe it.
My life reads a lot like Days Of Our Lives mixed with some bad 80's action/drama movies.

Life happens in these places, and we dismiss it with a shrug.
"On to bigger and better."
Why don't we pause to reflect on the past?
Is it too much to process?
Is it easier to sweep it under the rug, roll it up, and stuff it in the moving van?

We often take pictures when we move into a place.
What about when we leave?
One last snippet of memories......
.....see how much we've changed?

Around these parts we're faced with moving again.
Soon.
I'm catching a lot of flack from various people lately about why we haven't bought a house.
Do you know why I haven't bought a house?

Because I don't want one, dammit!

Shouldn't that be reason enough?
Why do I have to defend myself so much lately?
So what I'm 27.
And have a kid.
And ::::gasp!::::: aren't married.
This is the way I like my life.
I don't criticize the way people I know run their lives.
If they're living that way, there must be a damn good reason.
For me, I don't want to be tied down to a house.
Nor do I want the financial responsibility of a house, or the work!
I have no hard feelings about this at all.

Zero.

You see, on the coast, in the Pacific North West, things are very different from where the people that I'm catching the flack live.There are millions of people that live in this metropolis, so shocker, things are more expensive.
A great deal of people here don't own homes.
They rent because it's cheaper.
And they're OK with that!
Yet another reason we belong here.
Instead of fussing with their yard, worrying about fancy furniture or cars like my Midwest friends, they're out living life.
Oregon has sand dunes, rainforest, beaches, mountains, hundreds of national parks.......
Not to mention all things cultural.
Weekend trips to Seattle, Canada & California.

For awhile I was convinced our next big move would be back to the Midwest.
But then I realized what that big draw I was feeling was.
Guilt.
Guilt from my friends that I'm not there to keep picking them up off the ground and giving them advice, when obviously they won't listen and go on wrecking their lives anyway.
We need to admit when we outgrow friendships.
If we can end unhealthy relationships of a romantic variety, what about friendships?
I'm tired of the guilt, and I'm going to admit right here that hey, I prob. don't quite fit in either place 100%.
But I'm happy here.
These people understand me.
Or, more importantly, accept me for who I am and don't rag on me.
Groceries are double.
So what?
You buy local and shop at Costco.
Rent is expensive.
Psssshaw - with the fantastic public transit you only need 1 car.
We spend $30 on gas every other month.
Oh yes we do!
Just take that $200 car payment, $100 insurance & $200 for gas that we would've spent on a second car and voila - there's your extra $ for cost of living.

OK, whew.....back on point.....
When we move into our new downsized dwelling this Spring, I will do my memory walk in this house.
I'll remember when we moved in we didn't have enough furniture and used boxes for tables.
How I cashed in my life insurance policy to make ends meet until the fellas first paycheck.
How insanely sick I was with Hypermesis and the thousands of hours I spent sick in bed.
The phone call to my midwife when I was belly up in the bath tub, dilated to 7.....and her claiming I was far to calm to be that far along.
WRONG, Mary!
Our insanely rude roommate that still owes us $2,000.
Bringing Maeve home from the hospital.
Walking the floors for hours and hours trying to soothe her horrid colic.
All of her "firsts."
Hoooo.....getting teary now.

It's going to be hard to leave this place.
But I know our new home will hold new memories.
Some good.
Some inevitably bad.
I want to remember them all.
And when I leave here......
I will do my memory walk.
And have my house funeral.
Because this house, and all of the memories that come with it, are part of me now.
And if I've learned one thing these last few years.....
....it's that in order to move on you need to review, accept, and move on.
You have to really feel it and believe it, or it doesn't work.
I am my own therapist - haha!

Here kitty kitty.......

2009-11-01T09:52:00.000-08:00

My pretty kitty on Halloween.

It was a pretty subdued evening.

Lots of candy for the Trick or Treaters.

Lots of vino & candy for me.

Huzzah!

We can live like Jack & Sally if we want.

2009-10-30T20:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Golden Drool,
I'm sorry
I've
been absent these last few days.
Er,
weeks now?
I know
you've felt the distance
too.
But it hasn't
been on purpose.
Really!

The laptop
being ill
has
really
put a wedge between us.
A wedge
that I
don't like one bit.
But you see,
It's hard to be inspired
in a tiny room
that houses a cat box.
Phhheeew!
.....and a
computer grave yard.
The fella's.
He's my
little mad scientist.

It's just not like
the living room glory days.
With the velvet couch
cradling my tush.
Instead of
this ridiculously uncomfortable
"chair" thing.
Cups of coffee....
OK,
instant cappucino mix.
It's delish -
Don't judge me
Portlanders!
.....and Days of Our Lives.
Why the heck won't Sami
just realize that baby Sydney
is hers, not Nicole's?
Doesn't a mother
just know
her child??

But.
I haven't forgotten
you.
You're
always
in my thoughts.
I've been
keeping a short list
of things for us to talk about.
And
someday,
when we're reunited,
I promise
I'll take us for coffee.
That's right.
Just you
and me.
Like old times.
Real coffee.
Not the
mix.
Alone
for hours and hours.
We'll split one of those
giant rice crispie treats, too.

OK, OK.......
You
can have a whole one.

♥
Erin

PS: I haven't forgotten how to turn you on.
PPS: OK, that was borderline creepy, I just had to throw that in there.
PPPS: I promise I'll stop slacking, buck up, and write some posts.
I've become one of those unreliable Bloggers that drives me nuts with the sporadic posting.
Blargh!
PPPPS: Yeah, I meant the blog format to look that way.
PPPPPS: I'll prob. eat BOTH rice crispie treats.

Wordless Wednesday - Welcome Mat

2009-10-21T05:00:00.000-07:00

Belated Monday Munchie: Droolworthy Food P**n Sites

2009-10-20T15:27:00.000-07:00

I haven't left y'all hanging - promise!
The Monday Munchie is just slightly belated.
I've had a whole house full of sickies for the last 9 days, and that = today was catch-up-on-everything day.
Needless to say I didn't get a chance to actually cook up anything for the Monday Munchie.
But don't worry.
I'll always make sure you have a little somethin' somethin' to Droooool over!
Need a lil' preview?

Ke-tow!

I'm a visual kind of gal.
Especially when it comes to food.

Did you know there are sites out there that offer extreme close up's of food?
Extremely close up makes it look even more delish, like I could almost pluck it right out of my screen.
Wishful thinking!

Example #1:
Photograzing
Every single dang picture on this site always looks amazing.
I blame them a good deal for why I'm not a size 6!
I'll just let them give you their skinny:
"Photograzing is a place to share your best food photography, discover new food blogs, and find delicious inspiration.
Food Bloggers: Show off your best food photography and connect with new blog visitors. Submit an image along with a short description and URL. We curate the most delicious submissions on Photograzing.com. The best of Photograzing will also be featured on Serious Eats.
Food Lovers: Get inspired and get hungry! Browse the latest curated food photos from the best food blogs and food photographers. Leave a comment or click on a photo to visit a food blog."

Here's some examples of the eye full's you'd get with just a clicky click:
- Homemade Apple Cider
- Zucchini Chocolate Chip Muffins
- Black Forest Buns
- Proscuitto and Brie Breadsticks
- Iced Engagement Cookies
- Spicy shrimp, two ways
- Oatmeal Ice Cream
- Nori Rolls with Chopped Pork
- Steak and Mushroom Turnover
- Maple Pecan Ice Cream
- Plum Applesauce

O.M.G. - right?
If you need a recipe, you're guaranteed to find something amazing on their front page!
Always!

Looking for something specific to tickle your fancy?
You can always search their categories:
- International Cuisine
- Bacon (the fact that they have a whole category just for bacon proves how awesome this site is!)
- Cupcakes
- Vegetarian
- Gluten Free
- Cakes

Want to win some amazing Viking Knives?
You can enter their Halloween Pumpkin Carving Contest and View the Submissions.
Here's last years winner:

How frickin' adorable is that guy?
Set aside some time.....you could get lost for quite awhile Photograzing.

Example #2:
Liqurious
Need a fancy concoction for your upcoming holiday parties?
Feel like drinking your dinner?
Or do you just feel like treating yourself to something delicious?
They have you covered!
It's in the same club as Photograzing.
You can submit your favorite drinky poo's & share them with the rest of the world.
Bartending school?
Psshaw!
There are also tons of tutorials so you can wow everyone with your extensive Sake/Tequilla/Scotch/Mixing Knowledge.

On the front page right now:
- SLOSHED! brings you the Sleeping Giant aka Polynesian Paralysis, the second in a series of Halloween-appropriate cocktails.
- Green tea toddy
- How to sip Tequilla
- The sinfully delicious Halloween Martini
- My poison; sake. Straight or mixed. Intrigued? www.SakeSocial.com
- The Rocking Green Horse is entirely made of reclaimed oak wood from French wine barrels.
- The new Dom Pérignon Lightskin by Claire Thirion!
- Modern Spirits' annual pumpkin pie vodka hits the shelves and this season's batch is supposed the be the best yet.
- Drunk: The Definitive Drinker’s Dictionary, which contains 3,000 equally entertaining synonyms for “drunk.”

Such variety, eh?
The pictures alone are worth Drooling over!

Example #3
Feel like getting up close and personal with your food?
Check out Food P**n Daily
Don't worry.
It's all food.
Extreme close up's of Droolworthy food, in fact.
I promise!

The New Yorker defines Food P**n as:
"The point is to get very close to what you are filming, so close that you can see an ingredient's "pores" (You should believe the dish is in your living room), which then triggers some kind of Neanderthal reflex. If you're flicking from channel to channel and come upon food that has been shot in this way, you will be hardwired as a human being to stop, look, and bring it back to your cave."

You have to just go take a look for yourself.
It's so awe inspiring.
Like when you watch you first movie on a giant TV screen and all you can do is sit and gawk........
Noticing all those never before seen details.
Right?
OK, that's a horrible example.....I'm experiencing total post flu brain loss!

While you're at it, stop by the co-founders site What We're Eating.
It's along the same delicious lines.
Both sites feature recipes if you find something that particularly tickles your fancy and you need to make it RIGHT NOW!

On to #4!
Life Of A Kitchen - Flickr Pool
A creative photo collective of all things awesome in the kitchen!
(You have to be a member to add photo's, but anyone can peep them.)
Let's check out a few examples:

Kitchen Dancing:

Snuggly Tea Cozy:

Nook & Cranny Kitchen:

Cats Hangin Out:

Kitchen Helpers:

Up Close And Personal Food:

Then There's My Fav. - Style Shots!

I've got so many great ideas from this site - from decorating to recipes and everything in between.

I spent the last hour surfing photo's and barely made a dent in their 17,501 photo library!

OK my lovelies, I hope that can satisfy your Monday Munchie's for now.
Next week I promise I'll get my keister into the kitchen and do some cookin!

Portland Landscaping At Its Finest

2009-10-18T20:42:00.000-07:00

Every time Maeve & I walk by this house, I see these obviously awesome trophy's proudly displayed in the front yard.
It's the only "landscaping" they have.

You go get 'em Mr./Mrs. Bowler person!

You Capture: Still Life

2009-10-15T18:09:00.000-07:00

I really, really, really wanted to venture outside today to hunt down something good for this weeks You Capture.
But alas, I've finally succumbed to the nasty cold everyone else in the family's suffered.
Bah.
I decided to bring fall inside!

When I play with Maeve in her tent......

.......We always have an audience of stuffies.

About half a tent full now.

I was a major stuffy addict when I was little.

I couldn't ever decide which stuffies to sleep with, so I'd crawl in bed and make my mom pile them all over me.

These guys work hard for her.

Their ears get chewed on.

They get stuffed in the trash can.

Peed on.

They've been stuffie road kill over and over again thanks to the push toys.

Drug along on trips to the park.

The store.

The doctor.

Every time I see them, I think to myself "man these guys deserve a break."

And a bath.

I'm not talkin Kit Kat kind of a break.

Drooooool..........

They deserve the big enchilada!

Well, today they got one:

Look at those party animals!

(Haha)

Mmmmm......Pumpkin Ale.

I wonder if they mind sharing?

Go check out other lovely You Capture: Still Life's here!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-10-14T05:00:00.000-07:00

I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends

2009-10-13T17:27:00.000-07:00

My body is trying very, very hard to fight off the cold my other two lovies have.
I've sneezed here and there.
And today I woke up with a sore throat.
Wah-Wah

Time to break out my Aromatherapy Army:

They've been my front line of defense for years now!

From the Wiki:
"Aromatherapy is a form of alternative medicine that uses volatile plant materials, known as essential oils, and similar aromatic compounds from plants, for the purpose of improving a person's mood, cognitive function or health."

In short, it works by absorbing essential oils into the skin and blood stream.
Did you also know that the body can distinguish around 10,000 different scents?
Mine is especially good at picking up anything with chocolate, heh.

They have a myriad of uses:
Disease Treatment & Prevention
Stress Management
Post-Partum Discomfort
Menstrual Cramps
Inhalations
Room & Linen Sprays
Bath Salts
Shampoo/Conditioner
Lip Balm
Laundry Soap/Hand Soap
Carpet Deodorizer
Insect Repellent
Perfume
Scented Greeting Cards & Tissue Paper

When I was pregnant I was very, very, very sick.
Almost the entire time.
Taking a shower was torture for me.
The heat of the water.
The smell of the shampoo.
My sense of smell was magnified by about 50.
I could've been a freaking police dog!
One day I opened the front door to go run errands. The fresh air hit me and I barfed instantly, all over the front porch.
Classy.
I used to line my purse with plastic bags, and would use them to barf into while shopping at Target.
I'd then try to find the nearest trash can and chuck it.
Are you beginning to see how sick I was?
I lost 30 pounds in a matter of weeks!
Anywho......
One trick I'll share with you morning sick momma's out there is Peppermint Oil.
Put 2 or 3 drops on a couple cottonballs, put them in a zip lock bag, and whenever you feel nauseous at home or on the go, open it up and inhale.
It didn't always solve it, but it saved the use of several of those plastic bags more then once!

I could have a whole blog devoted to Aromatherapy and it's amazing healing properties, but today I want to focus on inhalations.
My honey has a horribly stuffy head, so I prepared him a relaxing, steamy inhalation.
First, I picked out a few essential oils from my collection:

That's:

Chamomile

Lavender

Sage

Tea Tree

Each one is being used for it's specific healing property/scent.

After picking out my oils, I hunted for a bowl.

You'll want to use something besides plastic, since the oils can leech into the plastic.

I used my only large microwave bowl that just so happens to have Santa on the bottom.

Confession - I use this bowl year round!

Whatever.

While you're waiting on your water, go grab an old towel.

Once the water is hot and steamy, but not quite boiling, it's ready.

Time to add your oils, very carefully and one at a time.

(I used 3 drops of each.)

(Rickster was a good sport and let me photograph him during his inhalation, especially since his face isn't showing.

Thank you honey!)

Drape the towel over your head:

And lower your face to a comfortable level over the bowl.

If it's really hot and steamy you may want to keep it higher up until things cool down.

Make sure that towel is tucked around the bowl so you don't lose any steam.

If it gets too hot for you, for heavens sake come up for air, but the longer you're under there the better you're going to feel!

Breathe deep.

Well, as deeply as you can if you're sick....

Try to really relax and visualize the steam going into your body and healing you.

Focus on feeling better.

No - don't think about everything you need to do once you feel better.

Just relax.

You'll want to steam for about 10 minutes, or as long as you can handle it.

Some Tips:

- Don't open your eyes. Those oils can irritate them, and you're supposed to be relaxing!

- If you're really congested your nose might drip into the water a bit. That's OK. If you really feel like things are loosening up, blow your nose. (Go ahead and do it right on the towel. You're going to have to wash it anyway.)

- If you're particularly congested you may start hacking. Don't be alarmed, it's just the oils going to work.

- Guess what? You're also getting a facial! The steam and oils are not just going into your nose and lungs, but they're opening up your pores and giving them a good scrub. Feel free to do this anytime, not just when your sick, for a healthy glow.

- I like to place my hands on the bowl while I relax. Warms me right up.

OK, all done?

Time to wash up.

Your face should be dripping with sweat and will feel greasy.

You need to get all of that gunk off!

Just use some cool water.

Aaaahhhhhh.....right?

It's incredibly refreshing!

That steam/scent combo packs a mighty relaxing punch.

While I had my oils out I also mixed up some spray:

I sprayed down all the rooms and the sheets....that way the Aromatherapy goes on an on.

And your house will smell amazing instead of that funky "everyone's sick" kinda smell.

You know what I'm talking about.

It's so fun to make up and name your own scents, too!

I called this one "Momma ain't got time to be sick."

(That bottle was only .50 at Wal-Mart, by the way.

You can afford to stock up.)

The oils themselves?

Well, that can get pricey friends.

It all depends on what you're buying and brands.

Some, like lemon, are as cheap as $5.

Others can run $10, $20.

But guess what?

They last YEARS.

Everything online says 2, but I've had my collection for 5 and they're still working.

If you're using them for healing properties I'd say keep them fresh and updated, but since I use them mainly for inhalations and sprays, they keep around longer.

You can also start out with just a couple of bottles at a time.

You don't have to go hog wild!

My collection has been building over time.

You can find them at any Whole Foods or local health food store.

If you really want to save money you can buy them in bulk online, but as a beginner I'd suggest going to the store so you can get an idea of what they smell like.

A lot of people store them in the fridge.

I just keep mine in a plain ol' cardboard box in my linen closet:

Whatever you store them in, you'll want to keep them in a dark, cool place.

You can also find small screw top bottles to mix up your own concentrated oils ahead of time.

(In that case, make sure you get yourself a dropper, too.)

You can spend as little or as much as you want in the realm of essential oils.

I personally love mixing up the room sprays.

It gives your home a scent all it's own.

When friends are ailing I like to deliver a jar of scented bath salts & oils.

The chance to heal others has always been a great love of mine.....

Whether it be through essential oils, or my favorite........through food!

Even better.....bake your sickly friend something delish and give them some bath salts.

That way they can nom nom nom in the tub while relaxing!

Ready to start mixing up some of your own oils?
Here's a great link of oil recipes to get you started.

Last but not least - the fine print.
These oils can be very dangerous if used in the wrong way.
Always always always keep them out of reach of little ones.
Wash your hands after handling them.
I know they smell great but never ingest them.
If you're pregnant, please read up on what oils not to use so you don't throw yourself into labor!
Which can be very helpful, at the right time in the right place. Just give your doctor a ring for further clarification.
Go read the tips listed here:
Oil Safety Information

Here's a great link for ideas:
50 Ways To Use Essential Oils

Smell a new career in Aromatherapy in your future?
Check out those great links!

There's a ton of info out there about Aromatherapy.
Just type up what you want to know in your preferred search engine, and you'll get bunches.
......More then I could ever yabber on about.

Now that my babies are tended to, it's my turn to go steam.
Remember to take care of yourself too momma's!

Monday Munchie - La Cuisine d'Hélène: Part 2

2009-10-12T20:49:00.000-07:00

Did y'all see that Gingerbread Cake?
The golden savory dear of a thing that I posted on La Cuisine d'Hélène Part 1 yesterday?
Mmmmmmm......
My house still smells good from baking her up.
Seriously!
Try it.
You'll be thinking about your next piece even before you clean your plate.

So.
What other delights can you find on her blog?

How about a little of this:
Banana-Blueberries Crumb Muffins
I haven't tried Banana & Blueberries together in a muffin before.
Interesting and delicious sounding, right?

Need something a bit more decadent for your palate?
Toffee Bits Triangles
Chewy toffee and rich chocolate = if you make this I will be your friend forever.

Hélène has "recipes to make Erin happy" down pat!

Her food prescriptions come to us from Vancouver Island, BC - which is just north of me in Portland.
:::::::Looking North & Waving Hi:::::::::
At first I was nervous because a good deal of her recipes are en Francais.
La Eeeep!
But after some scrolling I found out they aren't all in French, and a few she translated to English.
Whew!
I should mention that I did in fact have 5 years of French in school.
I can read it, and if you speak it slow enough, I might possibly understand some of it, but I sure as heck can't write it anymore.

Sorry Mademoiselle Blackmore!

Now I don't know for sure if Hélène is French or just fluent and loves French food, but here's a comforting and (appropriate) recipe that sounds parfait on this chilly fall evening:

French Onion Soup
It only has 6 ingredients.
(Which means even I can do it!)
Can't you just picture it all bubbly and warm with a crusty piece of bread?
Mmmmm.......

But don't worry.
You don't have to speak any foreign language to understand how delicious her recipes are.
Just take a look at the pictures.
They all very wave at you and scream:
"Yoooooooo hooooooo! Over here. Make me right now!!"

Her Desserts page is beyond Droolworthy:
Chocolate-Topped Peanut-Toffee Bars
Apricot-Lemon Bars
Golden Vanilla Cupcakes

Need something fancy to make for company?
Try this:
Rolled chicken breasts with prosciutto and barley

And while you're at it, bake up this baby for dessert:
Low Fat Carrot Cake

Or, do you feel like having a mellow night in with family?
Try her All American Chili.
Ironic, no?
I'm American, and I've never seen a chili recipe this good looking!
The French really know what they're doing in the kitchen.

Take my word for it.
Go pay a visit to La Cuisine d'Hélène.
Ses recettes sont toutes délicieuses!
Je ne rigole pas!

Mon français est impressionnant, juste ?
Grâce à un peu d'aide de traduction...........

Monday Munchie - La Cuisine d'Hélène: Part 1

2009-10-11T20:40:00.000-07:00

Fall is officially here!
OK, it's been here a few weeks now, but the weather is finally getting it's point across that it's here to stay.

Red leaves.
Pretty yes.
But it always equals more lawn work.
Which I despise.
Apple Cider.
I could drink gallons of that stuff.
Why is it always so darn expensive?
Cozy sweaters.
Yet another reason I love the PNW.....you can pretty much wear sweaters year round.
Lazy rainy weekends.
Love an excuse for those!
Colds & Flu.
Hitting our house right now.
Everyone except for me.
Most perplexing.....

But the exciting part........
What I live for......
BAKING SEASON!
Rev up those ovens, friends.
Let's blow the top off this bad boy with some Gingerbread Cake.
That's right.
You don't have to wait until Christmas for your Gingerbread men fix.
You can have it cake-a-fied today!

La Cuisine d'Hélène has your fancy fall recipes all mapped out.
I whipped this deliciousness up in just a matter of minutes.
I also happened to have all but the molasses in house.
Amazing!

Let's get started with the basic ingredients:

Those are your old friends:
Eggs
Flour
Sugar
Salt
Baking Soda
Butter
Milk
Buttermilk

Then come the Droolworthy special guest stars:

That's:
Cinnamon
Nutmeg
Ginger
Cocoa
Allspice
Molasses
Cloves
and Vanilla.
Wait a sec......
Vanilla!
That little photohog isn't supposed to be in there just yet.
He's part of Team Frosting.
Just ignore him for now.

Enough teasing, let's get started with Hélène's delicious recipe..........mmmmmmk?

Step. 1:
Adjust your oven rack to the middle position and pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.
Grease bottom and sides of 11 by 7-inch baking pan; dust with flour, tapping out any excess.
I decided to mix it up a little and used a bundt pan instead. I just doubled the recipe and added an extra 30 minutes to the baking time.
Want to mix up what pan to use, too?
Take a looksie at this handy conversion chart.

Instead of greasing the pan with butter and then flouring, I used my handy cooking sprays instead:

Easy peasey!

Step 2:

Whisk together flour, baking soda, salt, ginger, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, allspice, and cocoa in medium bowl.

Step 3:

Beat butter, molasses, and sugar in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until combined.

Beat in egg until incorporated.

A whole bottle of molasses. You know it's going to be good!

Gradually add buttermilk and milk until combined.

Step 4:

Add dry ingredients to liquid; beat on medium speed until batter is smooth, about 1 minute, scraping down sides of bowl with rubber spatula as needed.

Do not overmix.

If using fresh ginger, batter will be lumpy.

Scrape batter into prepared pan.

Forgive my lack of photographing steps today, friends.
I have a sick house hold to take care of at the moment.
But you know what?

Stuffy heads be damned, they could smell the fantastic spices before it even hit the oven!

This is one fragrant beast of a cake!

Step 5:

Bake until top springs back when lightly touched, and edges have pulled away from the pan sides, about 40 minutes. (Or 70 minutes for a bundt pan. But you may want to check your cake every 10 minutes after 30....my oven runs a little wonky sometimes. Better safe then sorry!)

Step 6:

Set pan on wire cake rack and let cool for at least 10 minutes.

Step 7:

Then you're going to want to flip your hefty baby over to the pretty side:

Step 8:

Hélène suggested either dusting it with powdered sugar or whipping up some cream cheese frosting.

I personally LOVE any excuse to use cream cheese frosting, so of course I went with the latter.

I had these friends help me:

They whipped up nicely into this:

I gave serious thought to stuffing my head in and going to town.

Frosting eventually took place, albeit with a plain ol' rubber spatula that's been in the trenches for years and years.

I really should pick up one of these:

(But you know what?

Don't worry your pretty head about it if you don't have one either.
Just use your rubber spatula.
........The cake will taste just the same!)

Voila!
Fall on a plate:

See that big chunk out of the cake?

Yeah.

That was made from two adults and a ravenous 16 month old.

In one sitting.

It's that good!

Ready for the recipe?

Gingerbread Cake

La Cuisine d'Hélène

2 1/4 cups sifted all-purpose unbleached flour (11 1/4 ounces), plus more for dusting pan
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon table salt
2 teaspoons ground ginger
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground allspice
1 teaspoon Dutch-processed cocoa powder
8 tablespoons unsalted butter , melted, then cooled to room temperature
3/4 cup mild molasses
3/4 cup granulated sugar (5 1/4 ounces)
1 large egg
1/2 cup buttermilk
1/2 cup milk

**Remember.....since I used a bundt pan instead I had to double everything.

(I like to write out my doubled ingredients before hand so I don't slip and forget to double one. It's happened.)

1. Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease bottom and sides of 11 by 7-inch baking pan; dust with flour, tapping out any excess.

2. Whisk together flour, baking soda, salt, ginger, cinnamon, cloves, nutmeg, allspice, and cocoa in medium bowl.

3. Beat butter, molasses, and sugar in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until combined. Beat in egg until incorporated. Gradually add buttermilk and milk until combined.

4. Add dry ingredients to liquid; beat on medium speed until batter is smooth, about 1 minute, scraping down sides of bowl with rubber spatula as needed. Do not overmix. If using fresh ginger, batter will be lumpy. Scrape batter into prepared pan.

5. Bake until top springs back when lightly touched, and edges have pulled away from the pan sides, about 40 minutes.

6. Set pan on wire cake rack and let cool for at least 10 minutes. Serve warm, or at room temperature. (Gingerbread can be wrapped in plastic, then foil, and refrigerated up to 5 days.)

Cream Cheese Frosting

By The Golden Drool

1/2 c. of butter (room temperature)

8 oz. cream cheese (straight from fridge)

1 t. vanilla

1 lb. powdered sugar + more to taste

Step 1:

Cream your butter and cream cheese together

Step 2:

Add vanilla

Step 3:

Gradually add your powdered sugar

Step 4: Frost your masterpiece!

Next up:

Part 2 of the Monday Munchie - La Cuisine d'Hélène recipe round up & review!

Life Is Good

2009-10-07T22:26:00.000-07:00

I have days where being a stay at home is incredibly overwhelming for me.
I wistfully dream about being a working mom....
Get my kiddo dressed, drop her at day care, and go to work?
No prob, Bob.
Work would be like a vacation!
An acutal lunch break?
Unheard of!
4:00 Happy Hour with the co-workers?
Huzzah!
Then I'd just have to pick her up, feed her dinner, bath and bed by 8:30.
Not to mention paying someone else to deal with the tantrums all day long?
Where do I sign?

Then I had a huge reminder smack me upside the head.
Made me untwist my panties.
This is why it's worth it.
I saw a link some time ago for the fabulous Nienie Dialogues on Suburban Turmoils blog.
I spent several hours reading Nie's archives and about the near fatal plane crash her and her husband survived.
The plane exploded on impact and they were on fire when they escaped.
They had to stop, drop, and roll to put themselves out for Pete's Sake!
She was in a medically induced coma for 3 months to heal her burns.
My heart just broke for them and everything they've been through.
But they're are still standing.
They are the picture of a strong family.
I am now a devoted Nie Nie follower!
...................................................
A week or so ago I burned my arm pretty badly.

I opened the oven door to get some chicken out.
My glasses fogged up and I couldn't see a darn thing!
I thought Maeve was in the play room and occupied, but when I finally got my glasses to clear up I saw her running full force toward the open oven.
In a split second judgment call, I tried to slide the chicken back onto the shelf and close the oven quickly.
Except it didn't go so smoothly.
Story of my life!
I got too excited and leaned too far into the oven and burned my arm on the metal rack.
Holy frick it hurt!
I immediately grabbed some frozen broccoli from the freezer and tended to my arm.
Even a week later it's still tender and bubbly.
...............................................................................
Stephanie and her husband were on Oprah today.
I cried like a baby the entire time I watched.
They had the strength to share their story with millions of people.
Who can say that?
They were so tender and loving with each other.
They held hands, and gave each other these soul piercing looks.
What they went through, and are going through, are some of the most horrific things anyone could ever imagine.
I could go into more detail of everything......
But why don't you just begin here.
It's her story, and she should tell it.

Thank you, Stephanie, for giving me some much needed perspective.
My oven burn?
You had that happen to 80% of your body, on a severe level.
I can't even imagine what kind of pain that would add up to.

And I now remember why I'm at home with Maeve.
Life is so short, and before you blink whole years have gone by.
By practicing Attachment Parenting and staying home with Maeve I get to literally watch her grow before my very eyes.
Some days I see her learn something every so slowly as the day goes on, and by dinner time she has something new to show her Dad.
I've been there to watch her start to crawl, walk, talk, climb.......

I know not all parents have that luxury.
They have to go to work to make ends meet.
For us, me going to work is really futile.
By the time we pay day care, gas, etc.... we would actually owe money.
I know there's several of you out there sailing in that same boat with me.

But that being said, I don't think stay at home moms get enough credit.
We're home with the kids ALL DAY.
Everyday!
No bon bon's and Oprah over here.
Well, OK, there was Oprah yesterday.
But I only made a point to watch it because I knew Stephanie would be on, and I was doing a million other things at the same time, multi-tasking queen that I am.

The things she still can't experience with her kids just breaks my heart.
I'm fortunate to physically be able to do whatever I want whenever I want, and then I go caterwaulin about my "bad day."

I just need to remind myself to take a deep breath.
Ask for help more often.
Remember that she's still a baby.
Or Toddler.
Or whatever term you want to use.
She's little!
She needs patience and understanding.
Unconditional love.

I need to remember that life is good.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-10-07T11:15:00.000-07:00

Brown Bananas

2009-10-06T22:08:00.000-07:00

It happens every week.

I buy a huge bunch of bananas.
I tell myself I'm going to eat one every day.
For my heart.

Severe potassium deficiency over here.

......besides the fact that eating more fresh fruit and less granola bars would be good for my badonkadonk.

Somehow I always manage to forget they're there.
And they inevitably turn into this:

All spotty.
And brown.
Good for banana bread.
Bad for me.
Yeah....I uh.....meant for them to go bad.
Because I was planning to make banana bread all along.

::::::::::::::cricket cricket::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::cricket cricket::::::::::::::::

Don't they just look so sad?
When all along they just wanted to make me all heart healthy!

Maybe I'm just subconsciously ignoring them.
......hoping they somehow magically lift out of the basket and absorb into my body.

Like I said, they either end up in banana bread or I freeze them all.
I have enough stock to open my own Jamba Juice for Pete's Sake!

You see, I'm an expert at ignoring things that I should do.
Should.
Just saying it make me tense up.
An obligation -
Baaa!
I tend to ignore them.
Because if you don't talk about it, it's not a problem.

Well - brown bananas no more!
I've sat down and made a 6 page to-do list.
6 flippin pages, people!
Of notebook paper.

I can't whine too much.
75% of it should've been taken care of months ago.
Years even!
::::::::Hanging Head::::::::
I'm actually quite shocked that ME, the list maker extraordinaire, is so behind.
Plus, I'm a momma!
If I can't step up and cross VIT's (Very Important Things) off my to-do list.....
.....well......what kind of example is that for my daughter?

Not to mention that several of the things on the to-do list are Maeve related.
Things like:
- Write a will. I'm super paranoid about something happening to Ricky and I and Maeve headed to state custody!
- Get a copy of her Birth Certificate. I STILL don't have one. And we're flying in November and I need it.
Another one of those things that I put off until something has to be done. Bad news!
- Life insurance. Something else I'm uber paranoid about. I can't imagine my honey or I trying to live on one salary. We're doing it right now and it's not so super fun, and M will only get more expensive. Hello shoes and prom dresses!
- Burn all of her pictures off my laptop.It crashes at least once a month, and every time I'm like "ooooohhhh if I can recover everything I SWEAR I'll burn those pictures tomorrow!" But, no. Never happens.
- Work on her baby book. I do have quite a bit of it filled out, but it's picture barren. Chalk that up to the #782 thing that I said "I'd never do as a mom!"
- Make a pregnancy scrapbook. I saved so much stuff. I even kept a journal.
- Write up her birth story for her baby book, while I can still remember details!
- Frame some photos of her and put them around the house. I don't have one single framed photo of my bebe! Worst mother ever!

Oh my goodness.......her list is huge.
I could go on and on.

On the other lists?
- I haven't been to a dentist in 6 years. (I don't have a single cavity, so I'm hoping that means I have strong teeth and my next check up will be gold stars across the board!) But still.....gotta go.
- I want to put a whole slew of things into a safety deposit box. I also have a huge fear of getting robbed.

By the way......
Why am I so fearful all of the sudden? I went and had a baby and all the sudden I fear that every day will be a CSI episode!

- Clean the gutters
- Change our Kansas ID's to Oregon ID's. 2 1/2 years later......I know, I know.....so bad that we're still driving with those. And illegal.....technically. Eep!
- Get a family bike and stop using the car as much as possible. Right now we're only averaging 3,000 miles a year total, so I think we're doing pretty good!
That link goes to one of my favorite people, by the way. Cafe Mama. LOVE her family bike.
I also dig this one an awful lot. Imagine the loot you could cart home in that baby!
- Make Maeve a play kitchen for Christmas 2010. I figure if I start now I can actually be done with it by then!
- Take a cake decorating class
- Not to mention the things from my second post.

I know these were kind of random examples.
Some things I just couldn't share with y'all.
"Dirty laundry" you might say.
But much like for all of you......
It's never ending.

OK, maybe this is getting rambly.....
my point is......
these are all things I could've been taking care of a day at a time.
But I haven't.
I do have a few ~~excuses~~ reasons.
I had a very, very, very hard pregnancy.
Then I had a colic baby.
A very large chunk of my list has been neglected due to financial limitations.
But I've decided enough is enough.
Even if I have to scrimp and save to take care of that stuff, I'm going to do it.
And in the mean time I'm going to start resolving what doesn't require money.
Like the baby book.

Small steps.
I can do it!
.....before everything in my life turns mushy with brown spots.

But hey, they fact that I have only one banana left and not 6 is a serious start, right?

Monday Munchie - Gourmet Mom On The Go

2009-10-05T17:05:00.000-07:00

***Ideally I want to get to where I make something from a Monday Munchie's site before I post about it, to show you all first hand how delicious it is.
I'll try to make that happen for next Monday!
...................................................................
This week I decided to make The Gourmet Mom On The Go my Monday Munchie, but as soon as I pulled up her site to look up links I panicked.

How in the world am I going to choose just a few favorite links to share??
They are all so wonderfully cute and delicious looking!

If you are sending out an Oh-My-Goodness-I-Can't-Get-My-Kid-To-Eat-Anything SOS, The Gourmet Mom On The Go is answering your call!

I love her recipes because they say to me - hey, you don't have to feed your kids the same boring stuff over and over.
Let your kids help you create in the kitchen.
Make meals special for them.
Make every day count.

Set aside some time momma's, because there are a ton of fabulous recipes on The Gourmet Mom On The Go's site.
I am going to file a bunch of these recipes away for when Maeve has her first little sleepovers.
ACK! So excited for those!!!

Let's start with Halloween, because it'll be here before you know it and I know you momma's are plotting and planning as I speak.
She has some great ideas:
Shrunken Head Apple Bars
Tricky Witches' Brooms
Spooktacular Breakfast Buffet
Franken-Snacks
Green Goblins
Eye of Newt Cookies (They're on the front page of Betty Crocker.com today, congrats!)
Tarantula Treats

Football season has kicked off (haha), too.
I'm not a big watcher, but these recipes are so cute I might just invite some people over and pretend that I am!
50-Yard Fiesta Dip
False Start Fun Fondue
Touchdown Taco Pockets

Falling in love with fall?
Let's celebrate!
Apple Brownies
Scarecrow Cookies
Cheesy Mini-Pumpkins

Turkey Day is less than two months away.
Your kiddo's will want to "Gobble Up" these treats!
Man I'm on board with the cheesy jokes today, eh?
I just can't help ma' self!
Silly Turkey Treats
Cornucopia Lunch

Want to plan ahead for Christmas?
Keep your elve's happy with these:
Healthy Christmas Tree Snack
Naughty Coal Treats *Freaking ADOREABLE! Great for a take to work treat, too.
Funny Gingerbread Men

Is your 4 year old having a "fancy tea party?"
Make these!
Teacup Treats

Stumped for snack ideas?
PBJ Sushi
"W" is for Wiggly Watermelon
"J" is for Jiggly Jellyfish
Banana Dogs
Oreo Pudding Popsicles
"J" is for Jeweled Jell-o
Flower Cup Quiche
Funky Biscuit Flowers
Chocolate Eggs & Bacon
Chocolate Toddler Truffles
Funny Fruit
Gone Fishin' Snacks
More Sandwich Fun
Butterfly Biscuits

Or the very first recipe that lead me to her site:
Eyeballs, Eyeballs Everywhere!
Hysterical!

These are just the tip of the ice burg, friends.
With 40+ Categories, (Holy Frijoles!) she has plenty of fun ideas for you.
Now.....let's go get creative in the kitchen!

"In this land of milk and honey, where dairy farmers do make money."

2009-10-04T14:50:00.000-07:00

Well you coulda blown me over with a feather.....
Yesterday the Drool's Sausage and Cheese Muffins made the Post of the Day over at the Tillamook Cheese Fan Club's Site!

As I've previously mentioned, Tillamook Cheese is a whole other food group for me, so this was quite an honor.
When I went to school here in Portland I ate it like I was on death row.
After returning to the Mid-West I searched high and low for my Tillamook, to you know, support my habit.
Alas, I couldn't find it anywhere.
And now that I've moved back to the PNW, Tillamook's gone nation wide.
It figures!
Upon returning I discoverd Tillamook had expanded to much more then delicious cheese.

They now have:

Butter
Get you a slice of fresh bread and smear some of that goodness on.
But be careful, it'll make it so good you'll end up eating the whole dang loaf!

Sour Cream, in Premium, Light and Fat Free!
I just threw some of this in with my mashed potatoes the other night.
Kicks it up a notch honey!

Yogurt
15 kinds of deliciousness, all rBST and high fructose corn syrup free!
My fav's?
French Vanilla Bean
Orchard Harvest

Ice Cream
Now here's the real jackpot friends.
Cheese is delicious.
But sometimes you just need a bowl of ice cream.

Courtney used to eat ice cream for dinner all the time.
A bachelorette thing I suppose.
I wish she could've experienced Tillamook's far superior versions.

You have 23 flavors to pick from.
Here's some of our favorites:
Banana Split
Chocolate Peanut Butter
Espresso Mocha
Tillamook Mudslide
Wild Mountain Blackberry
Bubble Gum

Of course I'd be remiss if I didn't mention their delicious cheese selection.
17 Droolworthy flavors such as:
Pepper Jack
Vintage White Extra Sharp Cheddar
Sharp Cheddar
Smoked Cheddar

They also have Reduced Fat, Shredded, and Kosher if you'd like.
See - no reason not to eat Tillamook!
Unless you're lactose intolerant.
And in that case, I'm very, very sorry friend.
Maybe you could huff the ice cream carton?
Hey now, don't laugh at the idea.
I did that kind of thing when I was pregnant and had some severe dietary restrictions.
Or do they have pills for that now?
I tell ya what, if you're feeling gutsy (haha), go eat a bowl of Tillamook Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream.
It's good enough to have to rush on over to the bathroom for.
Really!

If you've never had the privilege of experiencing Tillamook products -
Visit their website to find where you can pick some up near you.
Want cheese even fresher than that?
Head over to our neck of the woods in the gorgeous Pacific Northwest.
Tillamook, OR is home to the Tillamook Cheese Factory & Visitor's Center.
You can take a tour of where it's made and score some free samples.

And they have fudge, people.
Fudge!

Tillamook also happens to be right next to the Oregon coast, so you can make a day of it.
Imagine....eating a delicious pic nic lunch with your fresh Tillamook Cheese.
Waves lapping at your feet.

I mean really.....the best way to escape doing chores and running errands is to be as far away from home as possible!
Right?

Need even more Tillamook info?
Visit their site!
Learn the Tillamook story.
Look up a recipe.
So much to nom, so little time!
Let the kids talk with Tillie the Cow.
.........Love Tillamook Cheese so darn much you wish you could visit the factory daily for fresh samples?
Apply for a job!

............................................

And now, in honor of all this dairy talk.....
a little James McIntyre prose.
Cracks me up.

Dairy Ode
by James McIntyre

Our muse it doth refuse to sing
Of cheese made early in the spring,
When cows give milk from spring fodder
You cannot make a good cheddar.

The quality is often vile
Of cheese that is made in April,
Therefore we think for that reason
You should make later in the season.

Cheese making you should delay
Until about the first of May.
Then cows do feed on grassy field
And rich milk they abundant yield.

Ontario cannot compete
With the Northwest in raising wheat,
For cheaper there they it can grow
So price in future may be low.

Though this a hardship it may seem,
Rejoice that you have got the cream,
In this land of milk and honey,
Where dairy farmers do make money.

Utensils must be clean and sweet,
So cheese with first class can compete,
And daily polish up milk pans,
Take pains with vats and with milk cans.

And it is important matter
To allow no stagnant water,
But water from pure well or stream
The cow must drink to give pure cream.

Canadian breeds 'tis best to pair
With breeds from the shire of Ayr,
They thrive on our Canadian feed
And are for milking splendid breed.

Though 'gainst spring cheese some do mutter,
Yet spring milk also makes bad butter,
Then there doth arise the query
How to utilize it in the dairy.

The milk it floats in great spring flood
Though it is not so rich and good,
Let us be thankful for this stream
Of milk and also curds and cream.

All dairymen their highest aims
Should be to make the vale of Thames,
Where milk doth so abundant flow,
Dairyland of Ontario.

When Whine = Wine

2009-10-02T22:48:00.000-07:00

We are in the throws of full on toddler mode around here.
I didn't know the terrible two's really start at age 1.
Something else they don't tell you??

And not only is she a toddler.
She's also a Gemini.
That means TWO personalities to deal with.
My honey is also a Gemini.
So between them and our bi-polar ~~dog~~ cat, I'm living with 6 personalities!
Ack!
Throw in a hormonally unbalanced and still struggling with post-partum issues momma.....and, well, it's never a dull moment.

I still find it hard to believe something this sweet:

Can turn into this:

And then go back to this moments later:

It's a good thing she's so helpful around the house!

And super stinkin' cute.

She's put herself in charge of dusting:

(She picked out that outfit and demanded I put it on her.
Can you believe that?! That's my apparel girl.)

She likes to keep things organized:

She selects the pots and pans to cook dinner:

Pressure tests them:

Then it's off to throw in a load of laundry!

Finally, it's time to email Grandma:

Eventually she rewards herself with one of these:

And mommy rewards herself with a little of this:

Well deserved, I'd say.

Kampai!

The Honest Truth

2009-10-01T01:19:00.000-07:00

There's something that's been bothering me lately.
Let's talk about it.

(P.S. & by the way.....that's not me.)
It seems like no one is honest with each other or themselves anymore.
I'm tired of these high maintenance friendships and familyships (yeah, another word that I made up.)
It seems like we're always tip toeing around each other.
The funny thing is everyone I know talks about each other behind their back.
The truth ends up running through the grape vine and everyone finds out about what was said eventually anyway!
Why don't we save everyone time and just tell the TRUTH.
What a novel concept.

When Courtney died I did a lot of reading about grief.
Dozens and dozens of books.
I was desperate to hear something that would "figure it all out" for me.
Give me perspective.
One interesting thing I read was, when someone dies, other people absorb parts of their soul & character aspects.

Stay with me here.

You know what?
I believe it.
Ever since....
I've been a much stronger say-what's-on-my-mind-no-nonsense kind of gal.

You see, I used to be one of those nicey nice people.
I stuck up for the underdog.
If people said something bad about me I made excuses.
"They must be having a bad day....."
Etc......
I ignored blatantly obvious glares and gossip said behind my back from co-workers.
I was a "yes wo-man" to my boss, my friends, my family.

Not like Court.
You never had to guess where you stood with her.
Did you really....really want to know if you looked good in that skirt?
Ask her.
She'd tell you the truth.
"Your thighs are too big for that cut, but it's a cute print."
See?
No nonsense.
A little hard to take at first, but after awhile I really started to appreciate her honesty.
She didn't hide her emotions, and was a very well rounded person for it.
But don't get me wrong.
When she thought I looked fabulous, she'd tell me that, too.
She'd also tell me when I was wrong.
Or that I should go back to college and make something of my life.
That the food I made for dinner tasted delicious.
Or even like crap occasionally.

That my boyfriend was sleeping with everyone but me.

Now?
Now I am much the same with my honesty.
I think people are too soft these days.
Let's just say what's on our minds!

I remember two days after Court died I was mentally preparing for her wake the next day.
The thought occured to me that I had nothing black to wear.
I was so overcome with grief I was actually relieved to have a purpose.....
.....I needed to go get something to wear.
Something to do besides laying in the fetal position frozen with shock, the record of the phone conversation with her dad skipping in my brain, ignoring the incessant phone calls making sure I hadn't slit my writs or something.
We were total shopaholics, after all.
She'd understand.
There were several months that we lived on Ramen
just so we could have fabulous shoes on our feet.
In the check-out line at Target the doe- eyed teenage clerk asked that age old question:
"How are you today?"
I heard it over and over again in my brain.
Does not compute.
........Well, good question.
How am I?
Finally after quite some time I managed to throw some word vomit her way.......along the lines of
"well, I'm here buying something to wear to my best friend's funeral........."
She managed to blink a couple times and just kept sacking my stuff.
Not a word!
Can you imagine if every person really said how they felt all the time?
The world we be such a different place.
What if Bambi had the guts to say something back to me?
Something to really help me that day?
Maybe she was deep in remembering someone she knew that had died.
Just that known fact alone would've helped me.
Knowing we're in that wretched "club" together.

Nonsense.

I have a whole mental list right now of things I'd like to unload, but there's a good chance if I do several of these people won't be my friend anymore.
They don't share my "brutal honesty" point of view.
Should I care?
Does that mean it's time for new friends?
And family....well....it's just pointless to go there.
They all tend to have "selective hearing."
You know what I'm talking about?
I spend 20 minutes explaining something and then they just ignore it and change the subject completely.
When we both know what I just said.
There's enough elephants in my family to supply every zoo in the world.

When we suppress our emotions it makes our body toxic.
We store them into horrible monsters, called cancer.
It's a metaphysical fact, people.

My challenge to all of you -
Let's open up some lines of communication.
Call that person you had a falling out with years ago and talk about it.
You don't have to patch things up.
Just say how you feel.
Clear the air.
If someone calls you to do something and you don't want to -
You don't have to do it!
What a novel concept.
Took me years to learn that, but I figure I'm ahead of the game since I'm only in my late 20's.

Being honest with yourself is important, too.
Is something in your life holding you back or not working for you?
No time like the present to change it!
If there's the possibility of a happier, healthier life out there, I think we should be doing all we can to live it.
Life is too short not to.

If we could all get on the same page with this idea, maybe then I could call up my friends and say how I feel.
And of course I'd want them to do the same with me.
What do you think?
Should I just take the plunge and be the first to start this total truth revolution?

What about you?
Have something you want to get off your chest but are still too afraid to share with someone?
Warm up with me and leave it in my comments.
I can take it!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-09-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

Random sites I look at #1

2009-09-29T21:02:00.000-07:00

Remember when they actually fed you when you fly?

Now they just throw peanuts at us elephants.
If we're lucky.
Some are only doing pretzels.....
Since everyone in the world is allergic to everything now.
Including peanuts.

Going on a 7 hour flight to Europe?
They feed you.
Going from the East Coast to the West Coast?
Nada.
You get da' nuts.
.....unless you're in First Class.
Then you get food.
Free booze.
And a hot towel, too.
Does anyone fly first class anymore?
How do y'all afford that??
It's more then my rent to go just a few hundred miles, much less out of the country!

Airline Meals.net helps you remember the days of yore.
When flying was fun and you got a yummy treat, to boot!
You can browse by decades - 50's, 60's, 70's.....all the way up to now.
How fun!
I do love all things vintage.
Even pictures of vintage food!
But not vintage food itself.
My Grandma used to always feed me boxes and cans of stuff from her pantry that were older them I was.
It's any wonder I'm still alive!

Some other fun browsing you can do:
Special Meals
- Vegetarian
- Vegan
- Childrens
- Gluten Free
- Ethnic
- Etc.....
Crew Meals
Behind the scenes of airline catering
Food in airline lounges
- It seems to me that most people that fly First Class also belong to these smarmy lounges.
They get fed good food twice....meanwhile we're stuck in line at Wendy's. Blech.
Airport restaurants
Menu cards
Meals in movies

Do you have a picture of an in flight meal?
Send yours in and see your food forever immortalized online!

The Golden Drool

Days go by............

Fall Meditations

Pretty In Pink

The grass is always greener. (Especially in the PNW.)

Speed Cleaning

It's called Bounce

Burglar Alarm?

The hardest working lady in this house

Rule #1023823 in parenthood

Do you think she's intimidated?

This makes my heart SO happy!

Rowen's Birth Story - Part 3: He's Here!

Rowen's Birth Story - Part 2 of 3

Rowen's Birth Story - Part 1 of 3

Wordless Wednesday - Stewie the world's longest cat.

Wordless Wednesday - Best Friends

Like sands through the hourglass.......

What day is it again?

I AM Super Woman!

Christmas Belly - POW

Power Balls Recipe

39 Weeks Belly Pics

38 Weeks Belly Shot

Outtakes

37 Weeks Belly Pics

Broken and Beautiful

36 Weeks Belly Shots

1st Love

You've been deinvited to the baby party.

32 Weeks Belly Shot

*5 Years*

Happy Halloween!

That maternal glow

"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason." ~Jack Handey

25 Layers of Heaven!

30 Weeks Belly Shot

Cat Power!

Down with the sickness!

I want, I want!!

27 Weeks Bump

Busy Busy Bee's

22 Weeks Bump

Taste of Summer

Houston, we have a penis.

I have a head!

19 Weeks Bump

It's a.......

Not Just Another Bed Time Story

Arrrr........got me a crabbie cake I did!

Day glow.

Early Birds

17 Week Bump

Chime

Beautiful Dreamer

We're Being Followed

Wordless Wednesday - 13 1/2 Weeks Baby Bump

Lucky.

3 Month Bump

Add four more!

I expected more of you, Oregon.

Soldiers of Spring

Familiar Territory

4, my good luck number

Bump Watch Has Begun

Prunes, anyone?

Wordless Wednesday - Best Friends

Wordless Wednesday - Elf Toes The Flower Arranger. It's Serious Business.

"And Spring arose on the garden fair, Like the Spirit of Love felt everywhere"

“A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand”

Heeeee haw!

Dear Diary: You Look Marvelous!

::::Little boxes on the hillside, Little boxes made of ticky tacky::::Little boxes on the hillside, Little boxes all the same::::

Here kitty kitty.......

We can live like Jack & Sally if we want.

Wordless Wednesday - Welcome Mat

Belated Monday Munchie: Droolworthy Food P**n Sites

Portland Landscaping At Its Finest

You Capture: Still Life

Wordless Wednesday

5 Years